Every night,
I lie awake in my bed,
thinking,
would you even care,
if I were even dead?
All the pain
could be taken away,
with a simple,
too-deep cut
of that blade.
I think of that
every night,
that one time
you and mom
had that fight.
I think of how
far it tore our
family apart.
Yet,
i also think of how miserable
i would be
living with a dad who doesn't love me.
I cry every night
begging for you to come back.
calling out into the dark, lonely night,
i scold my self.
why can't i just forget you?
you don't love me,
why should i love you?
i'm so much better than that,
but it took me until now
to realize that i don't need you
to live the happy life i now have...
i don't love you, but i don't hate you either...