Float

April 5, 2010
By Eilatan GOLD, Old Greenwich, Connecticut
Eilatan GOLD, Old Greenwich, Connecticut
11 articles 1 photo 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nobody is normal. Everybody in the world is a weirdo freak. Except you, which makes you a weirdo freak."


Some people
will call fall 'fall'
until the very end-

I call it 'float'
'cause that's what the leaves do
as they descend.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 5 comments.


on Jul. 6 2010 at 11:28 pm
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

I like to think I am...but I'm probably not. More's the pity. 

You might want to delete this poem and re-submit it with the correction. Since this is a short poem, that one word makes a huge difference. 

 


Eilatan GOLD said...
on Jul. 6 2010 at 5:34 pm
Eilatan GOLD, Old Greenwich, Connecticut
11 articles 1 photo 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nobody is normal. Everybody in the world is a weirdo freak. Except you, which makes you a weirdo freak."

Actually, in the original version I did write "I call fall 'float' ". I changed it while typing it, and then neglected to change the other one to agree with it.

are you psychic or something?


on Jul. 6 2010 at 12:01 pm
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

I like the idea behind this one, however I very much hate the repetition of the word "fall" in the second line. I know that for me it would read better if you had written it: "Some people/will call it 'fall'/until the very end"

Because in the second stanza you wrote "I call it 'float'" and not "I call fall 'float'". So to me it makes more sense to call it "it" both times.

 

And yes, I am aware of how hypocritical this comment is :P


amaranth178 said...
on Jul. 1 2010 at 10:45 pm
amaranth178, Washington, District Of Columbia
0 articles 0 photos 118 comments
Idea, stylistic technique...I like it :D and the picture you chose for it is gorgeous

on Jun. 5 2010 at 11:43 pm
poeticjunkie93 GOLD, Chesterfield, Missouri
11 articles 0 photos 3 comments
This is cute:) Very clever, it made me smile. I'll think about fall differently from now on


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!