Could You Deal With It?

I could tell you what I feel if I knew how that even felt…
I’m not sure if I’m alive, not sure if I would even feel the pain induced by a belt…
I might be numb from depression or just overwhelmed with emotional pain…
I have nothing left to loose, what could I possibly have to gain…
I want to keep my head on straight, and not get too carried away…
I struggle to complete even a task as simple as that throughout the day…
I cry before I sleep, I question what it would be like if come tomorrow morning I was dead…
I roll over onto my side, curl up into a ball underneath the sheets of my comfortable bed…
I try to convince myself life will get better, but my mind is constantly plagued with doubt…
I look for a way to stop myself from think harshly, so far, no way out…
I want to keep my mouth shut when I feel the rage come over me so strong…
I want to keep my mouth shut, but truth is, they got the story all wrong…
I end up yelling, screaming out all the anger I couldn’t contain…
I attempt to hold back tears, I attempt to not complain…
I shake my head, confusion flowing up and down my spine…
I feel myself spinning, this prohibits me from walking a straight line…
I wait to put myself together, I’m tired of being broken pieces…
I’m through with coming up with questions to ask, I’m not writing another thesis…
I find myself terrified, I want nothing to do with my past…
I’ve found I am a coward, I heard those don’t last…
I want to ask questions to get answers, I want them to get the facts straight…
I’m not looking for a hug, I’m looking for them to accept, understand, and appreciate…
I want them to hear the truth this time, want them to not judge what I say or do…
I want them to think this time what if I were YOU?