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Band Members

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Now its just, me and my band members
me and my band members.
On my right we got my big brother
backing me up on these words I spill out
living it up like he got to live his life.
On the left theres my pen and paper
writing out all the thought i tell the but won't dare to write on these pages.
In front is my smile
that hides it all like its doin now cause I'm just facing the wall w/ my back to the world
and I can't face the world or dare to look at my last band member
we like to call mirror
thats all in my space but I'm glad he's not in my face
I won't dare to face me cause it's something im scared of
so I just sit here facin my other fear darkness
which should be called aloneness
but even though Im with my members I feel so alone
and you see they think Im crazy when I talk b/c no ones there
but Im talking to my god in heaven who's my first band memeber
who hasn't seen the light of november b/c his end was october
but stays w/ me so he can watch his little sister
but now I feel like Im letting him down man like he's not pround
cause I've only shown himt his dark corner, not whats out side it.
You see I'm scared of whats around the so I just stay in this one
learning all the chips and cracks so there will be no surprises
and I can't decide whether I want him to know te real me or not
cause even though he's not literally present he can still make judgement
so Im panicking b/c this mirror keeps poking me
and the scribbling of pen and paper is invading all my thoughts
plus this corner does love me it only keeps me lonely
but I don't know where I am cause my thoughts got me all cooped up in here
and I think my actual fear is really loving myself man
and my band members are gettin quiet b/c turning around is what I've decided
I'm so tired of this loneliness and quiet and now the band membersare silent
b/c I've broken my silence and faced the last member mirror
and finally see my brother
and put the smile in my pocket
and write it all on these pages
b/c I miss the me I've replaced w/ this I miss who I used to be
but I know change will set me free
yet why do I feel like I'm in prison I'm hurting so bad
and I want you, you, and you to feel this
so you can hear my pain in this
and I'm going insane b/c I've decided to turn back around
and my band memebers are once again loud
so now I've shattered mirror
and washed away my first band member
stomped on smile
and burned pen and paper
now its just me and this corner
me and this corner
my fears and this corner
with no band members who I'll greatly remember
Now on my right is pain now my bestfriend promised to be there 'til the end
and on the left is darkness which I like to call aloneness
and in front is this corner with the chips and cracks
and tears that just stays on my back man
Now its just me and my band members
me and my band members
my fears have become my band members.




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