Diary of a High School Logician This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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She sits there trying to write
While the white noise of iPods and cheap air-conditioning systems hums in the background.
Trying not to overcomplicate the process
Trying to find meaning in simple words

She thinks about the chaos of the world,
And the seven deadly sins.
But those things have already been written
Her mind wanders to summer crushes and college boys and thoughts of LUST
Then back to her page.
She's still sitting in the dim high school computer lab.

People type around her.
The ideas spilling onto their computer screens build ENVY within her.
Her mind is reaching helplessly for ideas, but the hands come out empty.
Supposedly anyone can write.

The PRIDE of her A in AP English crashes around her,
This is something new.
Supposedly creativity is free
But the lack of limits leaves her mind with
Too many directions to travel.
If simplicity is the ultimate sophistication,
Why is the mind so complex?

She tries to tell herself that SLOTH has nothing to do with it.
She is not lazy; she just doesn't know what the first step is.
Somebody please tell her what the first step is.

A thought of GREED sits profoundly on her shoulder.
She wants her writing to be perfect, to be praised.
But perfectionist poets do not make good money.
They only make good secretaries.
The thought plays in circles in her head, like the record player sitting in her living room.
But she can't break free of
form
grammar
rules

Her mind has been stuffing itself with knowledge,
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And the fear of failure.
And that is not a recipe for imagination.

But maybe it's enough that she chooses
Poetry over pot
And blogging over bottling it up
Even if she is too boring to contribute anything worthwhile now,
The ANGER of the situation collects with a thousand others
Building her life, building her story.
Maybe she can write it down later.

But for now she'll just continue
Playing the piano because she can't sing
Tapping her foot because she can't dance
Being guilty for the seven sins she fell in love with
And wondering what to write
What to write
What to write.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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