Faster. Faster

March 7, 2010
By whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments

Headfirst, running.
Hand and hand.
Faster. Faster. We run laughing. Not caring about what lies ahead, but rather whats next to us.
Faster. Faster. Times slows as we run by.
Faster. Faster. We run so fast I lose your hand and run head first into the pit of despair.
Now I watch you running by with another girl. Hand and hand.
Faster. Faster.



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This article has 13 comments.


on Jun. 27 2010 at 10:32 pm
ReadWriteBreathe PLATINUM, Pocatello, Idaho
24 articles 4 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you" Tyler Durden Fight Club

This is very good. Like EllieK said, it is short but does pack a lot of power. I like how it tells a story but it isn't straight forward. Good good job.

EllieK. BRONZE said...
on Jun. 27 2010 at 6:34 pm
EllieK. BRONZE, Wilmette, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Not all who wander are lost"
JRR Tolkien

"Sometimes life sucks, so suck it up"
-ME

""We succeeded in taking that picture (from deep space), and if you look a it, you see a dot. Thats here. That's home. Thats us. On it, everyone you ever heard of

THIS IS REALLY GOOD. IT MAY BE SHORT, BUT IT PACKS IN A LOT OF POWER. IT HAS A REALLY GOOD STORY TO IT.

on May. 31 2010 at 10:08 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
haha thanks...same with me about the guy

burnt-toast said...
on May. 31 2010 at 5:27 pm
very good. very, very good. YOu were wondering if you can write poetry? In my opinion yes - and pretty darn well! reminded me of a specific evening I spent, with a specific guy... but thats another story... :(

on May. 31 2010 at 5:15 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
thank you! i will

on May. 31 2010 at 3:44 pm
aaaaaqweqweqwe SILVER, Somewhere, Illinois
6 articles 0 photos 67 comments

Wow. Excellent. The only problem I had was the line "pit of despair". I feel like that description sticks out like a sore thumb next to the rest of the poem. Try different wording, to match the theme, the idea youre trying to convey.

Other than that, very good. If you get the chance, read some of my work :)


on May. 18 2010 at 5:46 pm
sunnyhunny PLATINUM, Litchfield, New Hampshire
22 articles 3 photos 329 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
-Ghandi

wow, I really like this.  At first when I saw the title of this poem I thought it would be about track or something, but this is truly a metaphor for so much more.  Beatutiful job.

on May. 11 2010 at 10:15 am
StarlitStranger SILVER, Delancey, New York
6 articles 2 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Because if it isn't 'of Doom' what's the point?"

I know how ya' feel! In track and I love it!

on May. 6 2010 at 11:49 pm
.Escape.From.This.Afterlife. GOLD, Short Hills, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"bad blood is more satisfying to spill across the floor..."

Really powerful. :)

on Apr. 29 2010 at 7:08 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
thanx for the compliments!

on Apr. 23 2010 at 2:59 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

aw...thats pretty deep. i like it!

anonymous said...
on Apr. 20 2010 at 7:58 pm
a short poem but filled with so much talent. one of my favorites! keep writing

on Apr. 20 2010 at 7:56 pm
shayna101 SILVER, Carlsbad, California
5 articles 0 photos 35 comments
amazing! you are really talented :)


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