Digging Through the Darkness This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

April 2, 2010
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Quietly,
I lean against the bristly fabric
your armchair has to offer,
silently sweating off the pounds of make-up
covering my stress lines, my bruises,
my fears.

You poke and prod at me,
trying to figure me out like a puzzle,
trying to force me to let you
swim through the black waters
that bathe my thoughts in darkness,
not yet realizing that you would drown
in its misery the second
you dipped your pale toes in it.

Timidly I shake my head,
refusing to say a word,
the effect of your everlasting glare
falling apart as your glasses slip down your crooked nose.

Further, I shrug back into
the crevice of your chair,
nails clawing nervously
at my forearms buried
in the warmth of my hoodie.

You drop your gaze and stare down
at the blank page in your notebook
and smugly, my grin widens knowing
you will walk away empty-handed,
no matter how lengthy a time
you trap me within these colorless walls.

Your head jerks up,
eyes thinning into slits.
Drop it, you spit.
You're not a great actress.
Throw away your empty act.

My expression hardens,
my emotions becoming beyond edgy.
I'm not acting. I practically growl.

I gnaw away at my chapped lips,
welcoming in the bitter, steady flow of
blood.

You lecture me in the faults of liars,
me nodding every now and then,
knowing I don't give a care,
you letting your words waste away.

I savor the silence in between the classic lectures
of safety and self esteem that are given to every little girl
in hopes to save her rotting soul,
from digging herself farther down the rabbit hole
of the deranged bunny.

You drone on,
your words blurring together as I block you out,
my attention fading back to the ones I love,

and all conscious thoughts shut down,
my mind preferring the precious numbness
of silence
to your scolding.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

TheCapturedBat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 9:27 am
this poem conveys such unbearable tension. it has such a sharp, intense atmosphere. i have never had to see a therapist, but i have been threatened with it now and then.  
 
Allison101 said...
Oct. 21, 2010 at 4:58 pm

This is completely an amazing peom. If you don't mind, I would love to use this for a class. WE have to bring in a poem that has meaning to us and this means a lot to me. I would love to give credit to you, but I don't know if my teacher would let me use your Teenink account...

Great work, though!

 
Cracked This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 21, 2010 at 9:51 pm
I dont know if your teacher would let you but if she would and you wanted to go ahead. im glad it had meaning to you (;
 
sparkofheart said...
May 9, 2010 at 6:38 pm
wow. ive currently been forced to see a therapist/shrink. you hit the nail right on the head lol! great work i loved it :)
 
Cracked This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 12, 2010 at 4:38 pm
haha thank : ) my shrinks ticked off because he can't figure out what's wrong with me
 
sparkofheart replied...
May 12, 2010 at 9:16 pm
oh wow that sucks :( im feeling your pain
 
Cracked This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 13, 2010 at 5:34 pm
good to kno I'm not alone haha
 
always-sunshine said...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 11:27 am
its realy good          its seems like in this poem u r seeing a shirk or a father figure     is that it or am i wrong
 
Cracked This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Thanks!!! Haha yeah it a shrink. I haven't really had much fun with them.
 
Dancelivelove This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2010 at 12:50 pm

I know that sometimes you feel like therapists are just trying to dig through your head and stare at all your private thoughts and sometimes you shut yourself off because you don't want to let them in, but trust me all they're trying to do is help. I think you should find a new therapist that you can actually open up to, because believe it or not, when you open up it really helps. I have seen two therapists in my lfe, and I was lucky enough to really connect with both of them. When we had a b... (more »)

 
Dancelivelove This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Sorry I don't know why it re-posted half my comment :/
 
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