Real Surrounding Me

March 16, 2010
By CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments

Feel the air on my body, hot as if someone were breathing on me…
I lay still on the tiles outside, yet I see movement and pickup a vibe…
Feel the world around me close my eyes, touch surface and imagine even bluer skies…
I lay still on the tiles chest moving slow, loose all concern for the troubles that grow…
Feel the energy buzz all around, relax with silence or listen to sound…
I lay still on the tiles where daydream overwhelm, semi-conscious but in my own realm…
Feel the air not me, feel the worlds own integrity…
I lay still on the tiles pretending I am air, because air is free and cannot care…
Feel the thinking the thought, a statement that becomes caught…
I lay still on the tiles biting my nails, fear of feelings think details…
Feel the feelings I didn’t want to touch, you start thinking and thinking it starts to hurt too much…
I lay still on the tiles I am invisible and do not exist, so feel my wrath take my fist…
Feel the hidden emotions the unimportant the forgotten, the truth comes out of the mind that’s rotten…
I lay still on the tiles not making sense, lay still on the tiles no defense…
Feel the confusion, the multiple viewpoints an optical illusion…
I lay still on the tiles distance shades and time, all included in this picture running through my mind…
Feel the music the dance the tunes, the dreams the realities these thoughts that consume…
I lay still on the tiles not listening to what I feel, I am alive but am I real?



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This article has 33 comments.


CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 18 2010 at 10:28 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thanks for the positive feedback!! :D 

on May. 14 2010 at 5:36 pm
iknowyourheart BRONZE, Casper, Wyoming
1 article 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And I'll borrow words from all my favorite paragraphs to write a ballad while we say the things we hope would mean the most to me and each letter sent I've found in the pages of hope for the days when I feel like I've lost everything."-mayday parade

I like it, but i think it would benefit you greatly to expand your vocabulary.

on May. 14 2010 at 9:49 am
aquarius SILVER, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"unwelcome truths are not popular."

Returning the favor by checking out one of your poems. :D

"I lay still on the tiles pretending I am air, because air is free and cannot care…"

Definitely my FAVORITE line in an amazing poem ! (: I thought it was reallyyy emotional, and the sway of the meter had a very lullaby feel to it. Was incredible. Keep it up. <3


CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 3 2010 at 3:12 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Thankyou for noticing the time and effort I put into this :]

on May. 3 2010 at 3:26 am
hxcRocker DIAMOND, Haiku, Hawaii
59 articles 2 photos 88 comments
really love your poem. Love the idea, emotion, and the skill it takes to put those into words

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 2 2010 at 5:29 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Anytime and thankyou for checking my work out :)

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on May. 2 2010 at 5:12 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thankyou ! I  most def. will keep putting up work :) writing is my passion!

Metree SILVER said...
on May. 2 2010 at 3:29 pm
Metree SILVER, Machipongo, Virginia
6 articles 0 photos 20 comments
this is so good! you have such a talent for rhyming! keep adding more work :) 

on May. 1 2010 at 1:42 am
amicrazyorisitjusteveryoneelse PLATINUM, Kula, Hawaii
48 articles 0 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything you dream is real and everything real is a dream"

yepp:) anytime

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Apr. 30 2010 at 10:46 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
thanks so much :) it means alot to me

on Apr. 29 2010 at 8:38 pm
amicrazyorisitjusteveryoneelse PLATINUM, Kula, Hawaii
48 articles 0 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything you dream is real and everything real is a dream"

you're writing is beautiful.. very haunting and it just stays in my mind.. again I love your writing.. so true and deep

on Apr. 22 2010 at 11:03 am
Well Done! Come check out my work i think you would like it!

Milo! said...
on Apr. 11 2010 at 7:55 pm
I really like this. I especially love how each line ends with an ellipsis. And thanks for commenting on my work!


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