Fingers flying across the black and white keys, making five different sounds that sound like one together. Change sounds, change chords. I want to sing along, but all that comes out is a squawk and suddenly the rhythm of my fingers gets lost and confused. How is it that I can look at a screen, hold drum sticks, tap a beat with them and my foot all at the same time, but not be able to match a melody from my fingers to my voice? No finger-voice coordination.

Minor, major. C scale, G scale. Spider fingers, tangled and stretched. Music comes from the depths of the Instrument, but really, it’s coming from me. It seems endless and ancient, but the song ends with one soft note. I sit with the sound still echoing in my ears. Start over, keep trying, keep practicing. I start humming along. Maybe someday I’ll be able to sing.