"Unspoken Need"

February 10, 2010
Little boy…
His mother’s rock…
Grew up in a one parent family…on a bad block.
Living a life with an absentee father…
Made becoming a man much harder…
He’d never been around since he was old enough to hold his bottle…
So he had to look to his mother to be his male role model…
Brought up with fictional stories of perfect families…always asked his mom,
“Why don’t I have a dad?”
As a mother, she had to place a blindfold over the eyes of truth without getting sad…
Told him the same tale every night…
That things would be alright,
And that,
“Daddy would come home one day, so don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
The older he got… he realized that keeping hope alive was overrated…
Lost count of all the nights he laid awake in bed and waited…
Contemplated…
Had to become a man on his own, hold his own hand…
But when he was little all he needed was a hand…
Now he spends his days not tryna be “that man”…
But he won’t even call him that, because a real man wouldn’t leave his only son…
Always left to wonder if he didn’t have a dad, why did everyone else get one?
Tormented by memories…got his mind playin tricks…
When he sits and thinks about all the birthdays he missed…
Seems like way back when…
Back then or what could have been…is irrelevant…
But the issue is so fragile, it’s thin skinned…
Raised in a World where lovin’ and leavin’ was the trend…
Product of his environment…
Can’t define the word father, because he’s never had one…
Realizing that in life you can’t undo what’s not meant to be undone…
He’s become a man all on his own…but even though his father’s never been around…
The thought of him never leaves…
Fairy Tales that lead to happy endings, he no longer believes…
Birthday candle wishes for his dad…yea, he abused that.
Not even one phone call…he never deserved to get used to that.
Mad because he had to watch his mother struggle to raise him…
Never asking his father for a penny…
She always said “To support a child you need more than money”…
Feelings of abandonment surface when Father’s Day comes…
He’s never had the opportunity to buy a card…
Bulletproof heart, he’s strapped…ready for setback and disappointment…
He’s emotionally scarred…





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