My Simple Love Story

February 8, 2010
By , Lawrenceville, GA
I haven’t been able to write for a while,
but today I ran in the freezing rain
without getting cold.

I sat beside you,
and…
for the first time in a long while
I didn’t feel so broken.

I saw the boy with the dark hair
and the sad eyes,
but I forgot to call him
beautiful.

I trace the lines of yesterday
admiring what used to be…





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

scotchtapedreams This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 21, 2010 at 11:30 am
You have some really great lines here, but I think you should work to make it more of a cohesive unit. What I like about a poem is when it describes one image that symbolizes something. (Just a personal preference, of course.) I would love to see a full-fledged poem dedicated entirely to the idea of running into the rain and not getting cold. Describing the emotions the speaker feels watching the icy rain, feeling torn -- and then running into the rain, and she doesn't feel the cold. Someth... (more »)
 
Shelly.B This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Thanks for the ratings and the comments, this one really was never supposed to be a poem, I actually had major writers block and just scribbled something down lol.
 
2Kool4U said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 2:46 pm
it caught me at the begging and made me keep reading, i like this and would like to read more. (maybe check out some of my stuff???) keep writing!
 
currer-belle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 17, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I totally love this...it strikes a note with me without being intrusive...
it's like looking at a three-leaf clover and knowing that it once had four leaves :)
 
lunaEccentric said...
Feb. 16, 2010 at 7:28 pm
This made me smile!
 
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