It's 10:46 and I'm Alone

Rooms feel massively empty
The walls a whitewash canvas
The furniture large and boxy
While I'm tiny and forgotten
Cross-legged at the desk in the corner
Swimming in my own thoughts
Trying to figure out how long I have to live
Before I can find something to live for

The people around me seem to have it made
While I'm living in confusion and hesitancy
Doing my best to pretend I have it made too
When I don't
I'm not even close to knowing who I am
So I sit here staring at the ceiling
Trying to find answers through layers of plaster
And failing

The house in general is lifeless
It died years ago
Swallowed by modern furnishings and technology
It's not a home anymore
It's a station leading to a pre-planned future
Raw and intimidating
And I realize that I'm wasting time waiting
For someone to change my life
For someone to live for
When I can only live for myself