You Can’t Write a Poem About Walmart MAG

January 26, 2010
By Philip Howard GOLD, Mt. Prospect, Illinois
Philip Howard GOLD, Mt. Prospect, Illinois
13 articles 0 photos 0 comments

You can't write a poem about Walmart.
It would have too much stuff
Poems are supposed to be short
And easy to read,
But a poem about Walmart would be way too big,
And crowded,
And cheap.

There would be too many people
In the poem.
All complaining about something,
The employees about their paychecks,
And benefits,
And healthcare,
And hours
The customers about the spills,
And quality,
And over-crowdedness
You can't fit that many people,
And their complaints,
Into a concise,
And easy-to-read poem.

Not to mention the lines
The lines at Walmart are loooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnng
And lines in poems are
Short.

So as the ad on page three explains,
Don't write a poem about Walmart.
Because you would fail,
Miserably.

Plus,
There are better stores than Walmart
Try Costco,
Or Jewel.
Garden Fresh Market,
Or Safeway.
But a poem about Walmart,
Nah.
It would end with
Far too many lawsuits.



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This article has 5 comments.


on Nov. 3 2014 at 4:49 pm
OurVoices PLATINUM, Merrimac, Massachusetts
31 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are" - e.e. cummings

this was so great! i love how the whole poem was ironic and you write very well, good job!!

on May. 30 2010 at 8:23 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

hah  i loovee this poem!! its different. its awesome! kool work:] thats kool that u even thought of writing this!

maRAWR GOLD said...
on May. 28 2010 at 12:57 pm
maRAWR GOLD, Greeley, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"all you need is love" -the beatles =)

you created something clever and entertaining that, at least to me, is completely origional.  great job writing about wallmart without going cliche. very impressive! =)

on May. 27 2010 at 9:14 pm
metaphor-mouse BRONZE, Edmonton, Other
2 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fate determines who comes into your life; your heart determines who stays. <3

I absolutely adore the idea -- it's so great :) different is definitely good when it comes to poetry, I find. This poem has got potential to be an even greater poem with some revision though. Just keep up the awesome creativity and let it flowwww ^__^

on May. 27 2010 at 6:23 pm
videotaped GOLD, Geneva, New York
19 articles 18 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope and Memory have one daughter and her name is Art, and she has built her dwelling far from the desperate field where men hang out their garments upon forked boughs to be banners of battle. O beloved daughter of Hope and Memory, be with me for a little."
- The Celtic Twilight, W. B. Yeats

I like this, and it's cute. It describes Walmart well. But... I'm left feeling like it's not *there.* Like you told the reader things you didn't show him. Perhaps it's my dislike of conversational language in poetry, but this didn't strike me as stellar. I don't think it lacks potential, I just think it needs revision and sophistication.


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