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You Can’t Write a Poem About Walmart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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You can't write a poem about Walmart.
It would have too much stuff
Poems are supposed to be short
And easy to read,
But a poem about Walmart would be way too big,
And crowded,
And cheap.

There would be too many people
In the poem.
All complaining about something,
The employees about their paychecks,
And benefits,
And healthcare,
And hours
The customers about the spills,
And quality,
And over-crowdedness
You can't fit that many people,
And their complaints,
Into a concise,
And easy-to-read poem.

Not to mention the lines
The lines at Walmart are loooooooooooooo­ooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnng
And lines in poems are
Short.

So as the ad on page three explains,
Don't write a poem about Walmart.
Because you would fail,
Miserably.

Plus,
There are better stores than Walmart
Try Costco,
Or Jewel.
Garden Fresh Market,
Or Safeway.
But a poem about Walmart,
Nah.
It would end with
Far too many lawsuits.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

OurVoices said...
today at 4:49 pm:
this was so great! i love how the whole poem was ironic and you write very well, good job!!
 
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jonas_chick899 said...
May 30, 2010 at 8:23 am:
hah  i loovee this poem!! its different. its awesome! kool work:] thats kool that u even thought of writing this!
 
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maRAWR This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 28, 2010 at 12:57 pm:
you created something clever and entertaining that, at least to me, is completely origional.  great job writing about wallmart without going cliche. very impressive! =)
 
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metaphor-mouse This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 27, 2010 at 9:14 pm:
I absolutely adore the idea -- it's so great :) different is definitely good when it comes to poetry, I find. This poem has got potential to be an even greater poem with some revision though. Just keep up the awesome creativity and let it flowwww ^__^
 
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videotaped This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 27, 2010 at 6:23 pm:
I like this, and it's cute. It describes Walmart well. But... I'm left feeling like it's not *there.* Like you told the reader things you didn't show him. Perhaps it's my dislike of conversational language in poetry, but this didn't strike me as stellar. I don't think it lacks potential, I just think it needs revision and sophistication.
 
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