addicted to addiction?

January 4, 2010
By , Campbell, CA
i can't say that i am happy now...
because i am honestly only surviving...
i've been trying my hardest to stay stable
but i can't take this any longer...
i've been in this depression for days at a time...
i can't believe i really have no reason why...
everything is okay now...
but all i need is love...
i can't get the love i wanted so
i'm getting ready to give up...
i've been diving my head under
drugs and achohol
as if it was the only answer or choic....
i'm sinking into addiction
so i'm basically giving up.
i feel obligated to give in to peer pressure...
but in a way, i am the giver of pressure.
i've longed for love so long,
that i can't really remember the feeling.
like it just sort of faded into misery...
not intimacy...
i would settle for lust at this point...
i'm just about to drown in this addiction...
so tell me...
how can someone be addicted to something they can't even recognize?
maybe i'm just addicted to getting my addiction...
like as if i'm in love with the addiction
and just don't know...





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