I can’t do this, it’s too soon. I care about him, yes, but I still love you. I’m still in love with you. I’m with him, yes, and you like someone else now, but it’s with you, is where I want to be. When im with him, you are all I think about. When I’m with him, all I think is all what you and I used to do. When I kiss him, all I think about is you and how we used to kiss. When he tells me things I think of you saying them to me. When I see you I want to to run up to you and hold you until forever ends. I look at you and I want to kiss you. Sometimes I forget that we are not together, and when I remember thats we’re not it hurts with a pain that makes me want to rip out my heart. And then I want to cry. I want to cry so hard that my tears run out. I miss you so much that it’s killing me. At lunch when we are in the cafeteria and I’m with him, I look for you. I look for you like a wife would look for her husband in the airport after he has finished his tour to iraq. I need you in my life more than I need the air I breath. You are my sun, still lighten up my life from afar. And afar is where I believe you will stay. Our Relationship was like a beautiful. At first just a bud growing eachday to be more wonderful, At it’s peak fully bloomed and absolutely astonishing, and then slowly withering away and dying. But dying you see, is something my love for you, will never do.
January 5, 2010