This feeling is nothing new

December 6, 2009
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This feeling is nothing new
It has been through me before
I often wonder where it came from
And if it’s contagious
It slithers through me like an infection
Burning each precious memory
And slicing each sense of awareness

This feeling cannot be reproduced
No drug causes or can treat it
Sometimes it disappears
But it always reappears
Like an unwanted stranger at my door

My hands are numb
I wish I knew what its like
To feel happiness rush through them
To have my feet not feel pain
When they crush against the pavement
My legs keep on running
But I still am in the same spot

This feeling is a nightmare
Please daddy make it go away
Look in the closet, under the bed
You can’t find it
And I’m scared that its hiding inside me
A monster
A threat
That could swallow me any moment

Music has lost its meaning,
My head always feels like its ringing
The feeling of dizziness
Follows me more than my shadow

Sometimes this feeling takes over me
It comes out from the deep depths within me
And lashes out at each and every
Victim it can touch
I don’t think its contagious
Because when I look in your eyes
I see happiness, love, life
But when I look in mirror
Stare into my iris
All I see
Is emptiness

This feeling is a disease that only I can diagnose
It grows every day
Sometimes when my breath slows
And my heartbeat is easily measured
I think that the end is near
But then I snap back to reality
And I think it’s just a nightmare
But no words can guarantee

Promises are almost always broken
But please don’t stop the show
Only if your extra drops out
They’ll know it’s their time
And I doubt that you’ll miss them
So only save me
If you think I’m the leading actress

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AndThisIsReal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 4, 2010 at 11:05 am
I could tell as soon as I began reading this poem that you were a talented writer. Your choice in wording is lovely and I appreciate your comments. Beautiful. :)
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