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since then, again

you know im gonna say im fine
even if you know its just a lie
its what i am going to say
theres just no other way

if i keep feelin the way that i do
for sure, nothing more will be true
everythingll just stay bottled up inside
like always, ive been in the place to hide

i may feel better, wont last for long
im fallin back in the hole, already gone
noplace to go, no one to see, nothing
thats what i am always going to be

getting back to that feeling, already there
wont go away, its getting too much to bear
keep tryin to bulid myself up, the harder i try
the faster i fall, im not going to get by

it shakes me up, and not much helps
drugs, alochol, pills its never enough
that same old feelin that just replays
it keeps on goin through my days

but i hide it all, nobody knows
they think im just goin with the flow
no reason behind it, just to get high
but deep down,theres something inside

and all the people i tend to be with
treat me like dirt, treat me like s***
and everybody knows it, doesnt care
just think that its alright, no big deal

internally im broken, internally im shattered
look into my eyes, you dont know what lays behind
for all you know im as great as can be, no problem
except thats the way its portrayed to be

'to write love on her arms' is for the process of healing
but what about those who are not capable of being healed?
do they just keep going on with life like nothings wrong?
or what if their too lost to know whats going on?

all this time ive been meaning to get everything down on paper
its been months maybe more since ive been able to put a thing down
but it is finally begining to come out, i dont know where to go next
where should i be found?





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