November 5, 2009
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My body is weak, pathetic, fragile.
It feels as though my bones have disintegrated.
It hurts, trying to move.
My walk is more like a doll being dragged.
My legs yank on my body as I try to get from point A to B.
It has become awkward.
It’s almost like someone has a knife
And they proceed to carve out my insides
Like a freshly carved pumpkin.
Yet, a pumpkin doesn’t scream with aching pain.
I wish I could explain
The torture,
The emotion,
The thoughts in my messed up mind.
Why me?
I repeat that question over and over.
It’s frightening.
I wish this adventure in my head,
Would finally come to a simple end.
I have decided, I want nothing,
Literally nothing.

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