i close my eyes
wondering
where it all went wrong?
when you stopped being my friend
and became better than me

if taking apart a friendship
was as easy as pulling apart a puzzle
would i be able to sit down
and examine each piece?
no mystery, no confusion

it would just be the way it is
i would pick up the first piece
and run my fingers over it
like a domino
that began the fall

i’d see your name
and the way you used to laugh
how your eyebrows raise in annoyance
and superiority
when i talk to you now

the second piece
would make me remember
every time you turned away
and i was left alone
wondering how you did this to me

a piece for every time
you lied to me
one for every insult
you fired behind my back
did they even matter to you?

i’d be able to see how you felt
if you felt anything at all
maybe i’d even see why
but would i really
want to?

of course there’d be pieces
for the memories
but these wouldn’t be broken apart
they’d be attached together
a cluster of memories in the very center of the puzzle

a piece with the four of us sitting around a table
at a coffee shop
you and i with our double chocolaty chip frappachinos
you rolling your eyes, telling us to get back to studying
until you give in and join our laughter

one piece would be engraved with a picture
of three girls sitting in a basement
you crying
pouring your heart out
do you remember that i listened?

one would be a pact
eyes widened in trust
no need for words
just acceptance
and lost promises

the very center piece
would be in the pouring rain
a backdrop of gray skies
and the pure happiness on your face
when you turned to look at us

words
never meant anything
until that day
the wind tossed around your hair
as they fell like raindrops from your mouth

that one piece
the last
placed into our puzzle
of a friendship
fallen apart