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~Safety in a dream world~

amazing night,
deep breath,
you wake up crying,
with no regrets,
you close you eyes,
drift back to sleep,
and in your dream two lovers meet,
breathing, running, slowing down,
the lovers meet they fall to the ground,
eyes locked,
holding hands,
feelings grow,
hearts expand,
forever together in a dream world made,
for the two lovers,
the real world fades,
never lost,
never alone,
in the dream world,
destinys there own,
they found what they want,
they found what they need,
they find themselves together,
hearts racing at full speed,
there loves so strong,
there where they belong,
there hearts have melted together,
and as light a feather,
they blow away,
and in the dream world they will stay,
hands locked,
hearts joined,
together forever feelings conjoined...





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

ShernayB. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Very well written.

One problem when you say "there" since you are talking about them. you should say "their"

Otherwise, great poem. Keep writing and please check out my work. Ratings are GREATLY appreciated.

 
BaiLiHua This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 8:34 pm
A sweet poem - and strong imagery, with a powerful flavor. I didn't like that it had a broken flow and the words didn't always rhyme, even though I sensed they were supposed to rhyme. Otherwise, I repeat was I said originally: a strong poem.
 
XxMidnightxX replied...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Thanks for the constructive critisism :)
 
Electricity This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 24, 2009 at 8:33 am
very peaceful. I like it a lot! Oh, I got the link to your poem from fb, the teenink group! ^_^
 
XxMidnightxX replied...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Thank you :)
 
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