~Safety in a dream world~

September 12, 2009
By XxMidnightxX BRONZE, Gas City, Indiana
XxMidnightxX BRONZE, Gas City, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

amazing night,
deep breath,
you wake up crying,
with no regrets,
you close you eyes,
drift back to sleep,
and in your dream two lovers meet,
breathing, running, slowing down,
the lovers meet they fall to the ground,
eyes locked,
holding hands,
feelings grow,
hearts expand,
forever together in a dream world made,
for the two lovers,
the real world fades,
never lost,
never alone,
in the dream world,
destinys there own,
they found what they want,
they found what they need,
they find themselves together,
hearts racing at full speed,
there loves so strong,
there where they belong,
there hearts have melted together,
and as light a feather,
they blow away,
and in the dream world they will stay,
hands locked,
hearts joined,
together forever feelings conjoined...


The author's comments:
Me and my ex boyfriend wern't aloud to see each other and one day I had a dream about us together in our own little world and when I work up I just started writing about my dream world...

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This article has 5 comments.


on Apr. 9 2010 at 12:59 pm
ShernayB. DIAMOND, Southfield, Michigan
62 articles 1 photo 881 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some things will never change"---Tupac

Very well written.

One problem when you say "there" since you are talking about them. you should say "their"

Otherwise, great poem. Keep writing and please check out my work. Ratings are GREATLY appreciated.


on Apr. 6 2010 at 3:18 pm
XxMidnightxX BRONZE, Gas City, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Thank you :)

on Apr. 6 2010 at 3:18 pm
XxMidnightxX BRONZE, Gas City, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Thanks for the constructive critisism :)

on Mar. 25 2010 at 8:34 pm
LihuaEmily SILVER, North Kingstown, Rhode Island
7 articles 3 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is said that there's no such thing as a free lunch. But the universe is the ultimate free lunch." -Alan Guth

A sweet poem - and strong imagery, with a powerful flavor. I didn't like that it had a broken flow and the words didn't always rhyme, even though I sensed they were supposed to rhyme. Otherwise, I repeat was I said originally: a strong poem.

on Oct. 24 2009 at 8:33 am
Electricity PLATINUM, Bradenton, Florida
30 articles 0 photos 273 comments
very peaceful. I like it a lot! Oh, I got the link to your poem from fb, the teenink group! ^_^


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