I Trust

September 7, 2009
By Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"


I trust the starry night and the pearly moon,
For I know the tangerine sun will rise soon,
I trust that the bare autumn trees,
Will in time grow lush green leaves,
It is a promise made,
A pattern observed and said,
What goes away is sure to come back,
And it comes back to soon go away,
None of it is here to stay,
That is nature’s pattern,
It is a guarantee,
Humans aren’t as reliable you see,
Sometimes I wonder if you’ll come back,
To stay and never leave.



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This article has 18 comments.


on Oct. 27 2010 at 12:56 am
Destinee BRONZE, Oakville, Other
3 articles 0 photos 306 comments

Favorite Quote:
Blegh. - Abraham Lincoln

I think that this line could be improved:

What goes away is sure to come back,
And it comes back to soon go away,
None of it is here to stay,

But I really like it! I love the end. Favourited. :)


on Oct. 11 2010 at 1:25 am
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 513 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

This is really good. I like it!

on Apr. 26 2010 at 11:33 am
Starrlyt PLATINUM, Willard, North Carolina
20 articles 0 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars -Les Brown

I really liked how you described the sun and the moon...and you're absolutely right, "Humans aren't as realiable you see."  I liked that line the most...

on Apr. 16 2010 at 10:32 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

i liked how u said 'pearly moon' n 'tangerine sun'! awesome work:)

on Feb. 20 2010 at 7:45 am
LihuaEmily SILVER, North Kingstown, Rhode Island
7 articles 3 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is said that there's no such thing as a free lunch. But the universe is the ultimate free lunch." -Alan Guth

Speechlessly beautiful. "The tangerine sun ..."

Not all the "rhymes" actually rhymed, and I am SUCH a petty reader when it comes to rhymes, but it hardly disturbed me ... this was marvelous.

on Jan. 19 2010 at 1:07 pm
xoxokelseyxoxo GOLD, South Plainfiled, New Jersey
17 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live, Laugh,love thats all there is to it <3

i really liked this poem. the end rhyme in the begining mad it flow very nicely. and you images are very clear. i also realy like your word choices. i really liked the phrase tangerine sun. its so fresh. not something you hear very often.

on Jan. 8 2010 at 8:14 pm
Aleketana SILVER, Blue Island, Illinois
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Climb high, climb far; your goal the sky, your aim the star."

This touched my heart-- I enjoyed the rhyme scheme. The poem presents itself-- even looking at it, it is a simple block, and uses simple phrases and simple rhymes to convey a much deeper meaning.

Skillfully crafted. Thank you for giving me the pleasure of reading this.

on Jan. 1 2010 at 2:25 pm
Annabelle7614, Nunyabusiness, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is my favorite personal quote.

This is really good, not choppy like you said it was. Or at least I didn't think so.

The last three lines almost make it sound like a romance poem, or a poem about saying goodbye to someone.

It's definitely better than most poems I do. I prefer to write novels. And the occasional short story.

: )

Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Dec. 28 2009 at 2:56 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

Thanks question-authority! I enjoyed your comments be cause they give me something to improve on. You are right: I do have trouble making my poems sail smoothly and they do sound kind of choppy. I like your suggestion to sophisticate the line a little. I'll change it. Thanks a bunch!

on Dec. 27 2009 at 10:51 pm
This was a good poem! One of the good things about it was that the reader could identify a theme in it (that the not-so-good-stuff is a precurser for the good stuff) early on in the poem and can enjoy the rest of the poem after the first two lines without having to worry about the point or theme. My only suggestion would be to maybe sophisticate the line "what goes away is sure to come back" and maybe say "return" instead of "come back"; the rest of your words are good and descriptive but "come back" kind of breaks that up. Good job, keep on writin' :)

RLJoy DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 18 2009 at 6:04 pm
RLJoy DIAMOND, Glen Rock, New Jersey
56 articles 0 photos 89 comments
I luv this poem! It was wriiten very well and had very good details

on Dec. 15 2009 at 8:34 pm
Rosen-Queen GOLD, Branchburg, New Jersey
13 articles 5 photos 7 comments
I like how you describe nature's beauty in this: very descriptive in your words.

archon GOLD said...
on Dec. 12 2009 at 4:57 pm
archon GOLD, Mandeville, Louisiana
10 articles 0 photos 40 comments
pretty good man, try to go deeper into describing how its a promise of nature

overall great poem!

keep it up

dule05 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 12 2009 at 4:25 pm
dule05 BRONZE, Kraljevo, Other
1 article 1 photo 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the end, the only people who fail are those who do not try." ~David Viscott

loved how you compared things..

Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Dec. 10 2009 at 9:59 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

Fredwardness: gracias! mucho gracias! I was thinking about having the last line be: but I think you'd only leave...idk, what do you guys think? I think it kind of sounds tragic?

heart_peaches! and ultrabookworm: thanks for your comments! I hope you guys keep writing too b/c we don't get better at writing unless we write!

on Dec. 6 2009 at 6:26 pm
Fredwardness SILVER, Romeo, Michigan
8 articles 6 photos 212 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun" -The Killers (Read My Mind)

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." -George Harrison

I really liked how you describe the sun and moon. Also how you ended it, the last three lines tied everything together.

peach<3 GOLD said...
on Nov. 23 2009 at 10:11 pm
peach<3 GOLD, Portland, Oregon
15 articles 7 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional."






- Unknown author.

I absolutely heart it! It's cool how U can tell a story without really going through and telling it!

on Nov. 10 2009 at 6:35 pm
ultrabookworm BRONZE, Equestria, Kentucky
2 articles 0 photos 69 comments
I liked this one with its nice simplicity. This was my interpretation of the theme: nature always seems so predictable, but with humans, we never know when things will change forever. Also like the nostalgic tone.

Sorry it took so long for me to post another comment! :/


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