Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

I Trust

I trust the starry night and the pearly moon,
For I know the tangerine sun will rise soon,
I trust that the bare autumn trees,
Will in time grow lush green leaves,
It is a promise made,
A pattern observed and said,
What goes away is sure to come back,
And it comes back to soon go away,
None of it is here to stay,
That is nature’s pattern,
It is a guarantee,
Humans aren’t as reliable you see,
Sometimes I wonder if you’ll come back,
To stay and never leave.



Join the Discussion

This article has 18 comments. Post your own now!

Destinee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 27, 2010 at 12:56 am

I think that this line could be improved:

What goes away is sure to come back,
And it comes back to soon go away,
None of it is here to stay,

But I really like it! I love the end. Favourited. :)

 
StarrlytThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 26, 2010 at 11:33 am
I really liked how you described the sun and the moon...and you're absolutely right, "Humans aren't as realiable you see."  I liked that line the most...
 
jonas_chic899 said...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 10:32 am
i liked how u said 'pearly moon' n 'tangerine sun'! awesome work:)
 
BaiLiHua This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:45 am
Speechlessly beautiful. "The tangerine sun ..."
Not all the "rhymes" actually rhymed, and I am SUCH a petty reader when it comes to rhymes, but it hardly disturbed me ... this was marvelous.
 
xoxokelseyxoxo said...
Jan. 19, 2010 at 1:07 pm
i really liked this poem. the end rhyme in the begining mad it flow very nicely. and you images are very clear. i also realy like your word choices. i really liked the phrase tangerine sun. its so fresh. not something you hear very often.
 
Annabelle7614 said...
Jan. 1, 2010 at 2:25 pm
This is really good, not choppy like you said it was. Or at least I didn't think so.
The last three lines almost make it sound like a romance poem, or a poem about saying goodbye to someone.
It's definitely better than most poems I do. I prefer to write novels. And the occasional short story.
: )
 
question-authority said...
Dec. 27, 2009 at 10:51 pm
This was a good poem! One of the good things about it was that the reader could identify a theme in it (that the not-so-good-stuff is a precurser for the good stuff) early on in the poem and can enjoy the rest of the poem after the first two lines without having to worry about the point or theme. My only suggestion would be to maybe sophisticate the line "what goes away is sure to come back" and maybe say "return" instead of "come back"; the rest of your words are g... (more »)
 
Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 28, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Thanks question-authority! I enjoyed your comments be cause they give me something to improve on. You are right: I do have trouble making my poems sail smoothly and they do sound kind of choppy. I like your suggestion to sophisticate the line a little. I'll change it. Thanks a bunch!
 
RLJoy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 18, 2009 at 6:04 pm
I luv this poem! It was wriiten very well and had very good details
 
Faith D. said...
Dec. 15, 2009 at 8:34 pm
I like how you describe nature's beauty in this: very descriptive in your words.
 
archon said...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 4:57 pm
pretty good man, try to go deeper into describing how its a promise of nature
overall great poem!
keep it up
 
dule_91 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 12, 2009 at 4:25 pm
loved how you compared things..
 
Fredwardness said...
Dec. 6, 2009 at 6:26 pm
I really liked how you describe the sun and moon. Also how you ended it, the last three lines tied everything together.
 
Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 10, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Fredwardness: gracias! mucho gracias! I was thinking about having the last line be: but I think you'd only leave...idk, what do you guys think? I think it kind of sounds tragic?
heart_peaches! and ultrabookworm: thanks for your comments! I hope you guys keep writing too b/c we don't get better at writing unless we write!
 
heart_peaches! said...
Nov. 23, 2009 at 10:11 pm
I absolutely heart it! It's cool how U can tell a story without really going through and telling it!
 
ultrabookworm said...
Nov. 10, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I liked this one with its nice simplicity. This was my interpretation of the theme: nature always seems so predictable, but with humans, we never know when things will change forever. Also like the nostalgic tone.
Sorry it took so long for me to post another comment! :/
 
Aleketana replied...
Jan. 8, 2010 at 8:14 pm
This touched my heart-- I enjoyed the rhyme scheme. The poem presents itself-- even looking at it, it is a simple block, and uses simple phrases and simple rhymes to convey a much deeper meaning.
Skillfully crafted. Thank you for giving me the pleasure of reading this.
 
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 1:25 am
This is really good. I like it!
 
Site Feedback