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Eye Contact This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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eyes meet, impulse to stare

the intent gaze intensifies
the chaotic world continues
but all of its frivolities
disappear in the fog

for a five-second span
time and place forgotten
a name, a purpose, a thought
lost in the stupor

lids stay strained
will not dare to blink
every flake of worry
vanishes in the misty haze

heads turn, moment gone.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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LBE23 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:10 am
This is so beautiful! I absolutely love it!  These are the words I could never write about a moment that passes too soon. Great job! 
 
jettabugThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm
wow, great job. I love your use of vocabulary, and you describe eye contact without actually saying so. great job
 
daddypa said...
Oct. 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm
This poem is something i could relate too its very well written and i like how you wrote it free verse. Also i like how you made it into a 1st person perspective
 
reman5 said...
Jun. 7, 2012 at 9:23 am
WOW! I'm paralyzed by the words... Great poem!!! keep writing
 
writer3499 said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 6:56 pm
This is so amazing! I could really picute myself being there. You did a great job descibing the moment! I Love it!!
 
InvisibleHeart said...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 3:16 pm
This was a nice poem. I had to read it a couple of times to understand. You do have talent but I think you can make a much stronger poem. Please keep writing!
 
Morning said...
Dec. 14, 2011 at 7:29 pm
This was a really nice poem. I love the last line. It is a beatiful use of enjambment. Good Job!
 
raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 27, 2011 at 9:30 pm

I love it! So succinct and strong. I know you have real talent, you need to let it all free!

Also, I'd LOVE some feedback on my work, I really want to know what others think, especially another aspiring poet :)

 
JoshMac said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 10:27 pm
I loved that last line. It was perfect. Well done. Take a look at my own stuff, please. I'd love to have a fellow poet read it.
 
Its.beautiful. said...
Oct. 31, 2011 at 6:47 am
might want to tryy to make a little bit of sense..really..
 
raindance72 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 22, 2011 at 10:38 am
I thought it made perfect sense. Might want to try to be a little more constructive and not so critical....
 
InvisibleHeart replied...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm
They have a point though....
 
LazyDaisyLovesYou said...
Sept. 17, 2011 at 8:26 pm
This happens to me a LOT with this one guy. Great job!
 
livelovesmile said...
Sept. 17, 2011 at 11:05 am

I love the feelings captured in this poem.

Please comment and rate my new poem "Safe On A Cloud"!! I would really appreciate it! Thanks!

 
madbunnymonique said...
May 30, 2011 at 10:11 am
Amazing i love it
 
Dessometrics said...
Oct. 18, 2010 at 10:01 am
it describes just about everyones eye catching moment good job
 
blondnbrilliant This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 9:56 pm
This was great, but it only describes a moment in time, and I didn't really understand how you were feeling. In my eyes, writing should reflect ones emotions and personality, and I feel you could improve by adding more of yourself to your writing :D Besides that, I thought this piece was very well written.
 
Dreamer_of_Dreams said...
May 21, 2010 at 12:52 pm
How many copies of the 2nd Grade critic's book have you all checked out? This poem gives me the impulse to look away.  Please don't look at my works because they are difinitively better than yours.
 
LeilaniLives replied...
Jun. 12, 2010 at 1:06 pm

How rude can you be? That was not constructed criticism. Take that else where.

It was lovely, dear.

 
LazyDaisyLovesYou replied...
Sept. 17, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Ok, wow. Dreamer_of_Dreams, that was rude. Maybe she's just started writing. So. SHUT YOUR FACE and be NICE.
 
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