Eye Contact MAG

July 1, 2009
By Jami Harmon BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
Jami Harmon BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

eyes meet, impulse to stare

the intent gaze intensifies
the chaotic world continues
but all of its frivolities
disappear in the fog

for a five-second span
time and place forgotten
a name, a purpose, a thought
lost in the stupor

lids stay strained
will not dare to blink
every flake of worry
vanishes in the misty haze

heads turn, moment gone.



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This article has 51 comments.


LBE23 PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 22 2013 at 9:10 am
LBE23 PLATINUM, Oxford, Michigan
33 articles 0 photos 14 comments
This is so beautiful! I absolutely love it!  These are the words I could never write about a moment that passes too soon. Great job! 

on Nov. 8 2012 at 6:10 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

wow, great job. I love your use of vocabulary, and you describe eye contact without actually saying so. great job

daddypa said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 12:23 pm
daddypa, Kansas City,MO 64108, Kansas
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This poem is something i could relate too its very well written and i like how you wrote it free verse. Also i like how you made it into a 1st person perspective

on Jun. 7 2012 at 9:23 am
reman5 PLATINUM, Ganei Tikwa, Other
21 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the person your dog thinks you are"

WOW! I'm paralyzed by the words... Great poem!!! keep writing

on Mar. 11 2012 at 6:56 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."
-J.K.Rowling

This is so amazing! I could really picute myself being there. You did a great job descibing the moment! I Love it!!

on Jan. 5 2012 at 3:16 pm
InvisibleHeart GOLD, Barony, Other
15 articles 4 photos 36 comments
This was a nice poem. I had to read it a couple of times to understand. You do have talent but I think you can make a much stronger poem. Please keep writing!

on Jan. 5 2012 at 3:12 pm
InvisibleHeart GOLD, Barony, Other
15 articles 4 photos 36 comments
They have a point though....

Morning SILVER said...
on Dec. 14 2011 at 7:29 pm
Morning SILVER, Greensboro, North Carolina
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no perfect time to write, there is only now." ~Barbara Kingsolver

This was a really nice poem. I love the last line. It is a beatiful use of enjambment. Good Job!

byebye said...
on Nov. 27 2011 at 9:30 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 253 comments

I love it! So succinct and strong. I know you have real talent, you need to let it all free!

Also, I'd LOVE some feedback on my work, I really want to know what others think, especially another aspiring poet :)


byebye said...
on Nov. 22 2011 at 10:43 am
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Dreamer_of_Dreams, there is a fine line between constructive criticism and being flat out rude, and you have definitely crossed it. You don't have to like it, but you don't have to express your malicious hate for it in such a snotty way either.

And I don't know why you had to write that you had "standards" on your account. You should be flattered when people ask you to review their work, it means they admire your writing. Maybe I would too if you weren't passing out put downs like this. :(


byebye said...
on Nov. 22 2011 at 10:38 am
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 253 comments
I thought it made perfect sense. Might want to try to be a little more constructive and not so critical....

on Oct. 31 2011 at 10:27 pm
JoshMac PLATINUM, Rifle, Colorado
29 articles 0 photos 11 comments
I loved that last line. It was perfect. Well done. Take a look at my own stuff, please. I'd love to have a fellow poet read it.

on Oct. 31 2011 at 6:47 am
Its.beautiful. BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
1 article 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you." — Erich Fromm

might want to tryy to make a little bit of sense..really..

on Sep. 17 2011 at 8:28 pm
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE, Albany, New York
4 articles 5 photos 224 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.” - Unknown
I will change this every week!

Ok, wow. Dreamer_of_Dreams, that was rude. Maybe she's just started writing. So. SHUT YOUR FACE and be NICE.

on Sep. 17 2011 at 8:26 pm
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE, Albany, New York
4 articles 5 photos 224 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.” - Unknown
I will change this every week!

This happens to me a LOT with this one guy. Great job!

on Sep. 17 2011 at 11:05 am
livelovesmile GOLD, Gaithersburg, Maryland
19 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am like a star burst. A juicy contradiction. I'm hard to figure out, but when you get to my center, your suprised! It's not what you thought it would be, huh.

I love the feelings captured in this poem.

Please comment and rate my new poem "Safe On A Cloud"!! I would really appreciate it! Thanks!


on May. 30 2011 at 10:11 am
AndySixxLover GOLD, Weatherford, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
These violent delights have violent ends and in there triumph die like fire and powder in witch their kiss consume

Amazing i love it

on Oct. 18 2010 at 10:01 am
Dessometrics BRONZE, Charleston, South Carolina
4 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
currently seeking

it describes just about everyones eye catching moment good job

on Sep. 8 2010 at 9:56 pm
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
22 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is a poison, but it is also the antidote."

This was great, but it only describes a moment in time, and I didn't really understand how you were feeling. In my eyes, writing should reflect ones emotions and personality, and I feel you could improve by adding more of yourself to your writing :D Besides that, I thought this piece was very well written.

on Jun. 12 2010 at 1:06 pm
LeilaniLives PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
42 articles 11 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They say 'Life's two steps forward and one step back' - But what if I tripped and fell down the whole flight of stairs?"

How rude can you be? That was not constructed criticism. Take that else where.

It was lovely, dear.





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