I have been running for as long as I could remember

I don’t remember if I’m chasing something or am I being chased

Am I running away from who I used to be

And now running to who I want to be

I’ve ran for almost 18 years straight

But now I am at a fork in the road

Should I be true to myself or

Should I be the person that will make everyone happy?

For the longest time

I’ve ran from depression, grief, and a list of other problems

I’ve ran for so long my own family doesn’t know who I am anymore

To hell with it, I don’t know who I am anymore

Is it fear?

Is it the sense of not belonging with my family?

Or is it that I can’t be honest with myself?

Will I ever have the courage to walk up to my family and say

I’M GAY

The part of my life I’ve hid from my family for about 4 years

Even though I am constantly running

I’m going nowhere

Like a hamster in his rainbow colored wheel

I am so tired of running

But what other choice do I have

If I rest I feel like someone will catch me in my lie of a life

And I won’t ever catch up to the confident person I want to be

If I keep running

I wouldn’t be true to myself and that is the worst feeling

All I know for sure

Is that the stormiest days

Create the most beautiful rainbows

I will stop running

And if the storm doesn’t pass

I will just walk away