The Loveless Cycle

September 16, 2013
By rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death


There once was a sad child named Mike Greene,
He lived in a broken home,
His dad was a deadbeat, abusive and obscene,
And his mom made him feel all alone.

One day little Mike came home from school,
To show his Dad what he made,
But his dad didn’t care, he was drunk as a fool,
And for bothering him, Mike paid.

Little Mike became sadder and sadder,
For his Mom didn’t care and his Dad abused him,
His actions in school got badder and badder,
And everything just confused him.

Growing up without love, Mike was filled with fear,
And as he grew up, his classmates felt it,
Mike was mean to the kids but no one would hear,
That Mike could not have helped it.

When surrounded with hate, you are hateful yourself,
Anybody could see this with Mike,
But he became an outcast and never got help,
And drugs began tearing his life.

Then Mike dropped out of tenth grade,
For he hated school worse than his Father,
But it would have been no better if he stayed,
Would someone help him? No one would bother.

Mike worked a nine-to-five in fast food,
And he met a girl with the same situation,
He always was rude, but she was used to it, too,
And she “loved” him without contemplation.

She soon became pregnant and had their first child,
He was born in an old mobile home,
And surely that child would be just as wild,
And like Mike, would feel all alone.

Mike found out his girlfriend had an affair,
And he went into a mad fit of rage,
She tried to explain, but Mike didn’t care,
And his girlfriend quickly was slayed.

Mike thought no one would find out,
But the police quickly arrived,
Mike was sent off to prison no doubt,
But the little child survived.

But what will become of this child?
Could he possibly rise above?
The answer is no, the chances are mild,
For he too will grow up without love.


The author's comments:
This poem is for anyone affected by domestic violence. More broadly, this is for anyone whose parents make them feel alone.

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This article has 50 comments.


on Sep. 17 2013 at 3:53 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks for the feedback! I realized that this was a very depressing poem, and I was aiming to cast light on the horrors of domestic violence rather than to bring hope XD But I will definitely try to write some hopeful and positive poems in the future! :D

on Sep. 17 2013 at 8:25 am
ninja-artist BRONZE, Raleigh, North Carolina
1 article 5 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love Himself self was not afraid to die so we could be saved." -Michael Card

Very well written. Good job. BUT there's no hope in there at all. Now, I know that not all sories have happy endings, but still. My mom grew up in an abusive home, but she is one of the gentless women you can know.

on Sep. 17 2013 at 6:53 am
Fallen_ PLATINUM, Quakertown, Pennsylvania
25 articles 3 photos 436 comments

Favorite Quote:
" a shattered world is only an opening into a new beginning with laughs, smiles, and love all around enter the world of the light and away from the broken darkness"

This is amazing! You did a brilliant job making it feel realistic and just original, i lvoed the ending the best with the kid of the loveless kid. You nailed all the feelings and i can't wait to see more from you becuase your are a true natural. :3

on Sep. 17 2013 at 12:05 am
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

I can see why you might make that association, except that I didn't really give "Mike" any good qualities, as opposed to the classic examples of heroes with a fatal flaw, like Achilles. Thanks so much for your honesty! :D

on Sep. 17 2013 at 12:01 am
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

I can see where you're coming from with that... Except that "Mike" wasn't really heroic, as was Achilles, for example. But I can see where you might make that association. Thanks for being honest, I really do appreciate it!

on Sep. 16 2013 at 11:51 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks so much! :)

on Sep. 16 2013 at 11:47 pm
MargaritaAlely BRONZE, Emporia, Kansas
2 articles 4 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
" So whoever you are and whover Iam, you made it alright to be me"

wow...I loved it..the relistic rage and the horrible ends...the inevitable..good job, 

on Sep. 16 2013 at 9:43 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks! :)

on Sep. 16 2013 at 9:42 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

iGracias! :D

on Sep. 16 2013 at 9:40 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks a lot! :D

midnightwoah said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 9:19 pm
midnightwoah, Monett, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We accept the love we think we deserve." -Stephen Chbosky

So sad and so true. I was very intrigued by your realistic story, keep them coming

Kindle GOLD said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 9:06 pm
Kindle GOLD, Sudbury, Other
11 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is no subject so old that something new cannot be said about it." -Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense." - Robert Frost

It's not so much that I didn't get your message, it's just that it does follow the basic scheme of the Greek tragic hero (anything that can possibly go wrong goes wrong). 

on Sep. 16 2013 at 8:24 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

No prob dude. keep rockin

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 8:14 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

Oh! and i must add that the title is very original and sums up everything in the poem very well! :)

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Sep. 16 2013 at 8:11 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

This is awesome and really describes someone's life in depth. Great characterization and imagery; I love poetry and lyrics with a story behind them. You did great; this is very interesting and relatable. Keep writing, please! :)

on Sep. 16 2013 at 8:00 pm
The_Little_Sparrow BRONZE, Corvallis, Oregon
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Every damn fool thing you do in this life, you pay for.





-Edith Piaf, 1963

Nice job! Looking foward to more!! :D

on Sep. 16 2013 at 6:43 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks for the feedback!

on Sep. 16 2013 at 6:37 pm
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.
Then bicycles were chainless,
Carriages were horseless,
And many laws enforceless.

Next cookery was fireless,
Telegraphy was wireless,
Cigars were nicotineless,
And coffee caffeineless.

Soon oranges were seedless,
The putting green was weedless,
The college boy was hatless,
The proper diet fatless.

New motor roads are dustless,
The latest steel is rustless,
Our tennis courts are sodless,
Our new religion — godless.

yup this is good. i totally felt the emotion, even if it was a little unrefined. 5/5

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:49 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks for the feeback! I'm glad you liked it :D

on Sep. 16 2013 at 5:48 pm
rokkotothezee GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I never sleep, 'cause sleep is the cousin of death

Thanks for the feeback XD


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