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Stifled

I cry and you become
a pressing cloth,
dipped in poison,
soaked in lies.

My sobs become strangled,
robbed of sound,
while you construct my thorn-felt,
wretched guise.

You want them to see me
not as I am,
you treat me as your
reflection.

But I’m not opposed to
wonton destruction,
as long as I can escape the
dissection.

You think you know me,
you think I care,
but all I really feel
is this fear.

I fear what I cannot change,
and that is you,
a thorn in my side
that’s always here.




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StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
yesterday at 8:09 pm:
  This has to be a favorite of mine. Great rhythm, very well said, blunt and emotional—overall a wonderful poem!
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 1:13 pm :
thanks so much!!!
 
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tellastory said...
Mar. 11 at 11:31 pm:
Good title! I was attracted by it. :) Excellent verbs. Instead of using pressing cloth, maybe use something like...kitchen sponge...idk.  Pressing cloth doesn't quite evoke the imagery I know you mean it to bring. It's constrict, not construct. Construct is to build. :) Change the phrase "not as I am".  Bit of awkward wording there, as your English teacher would say. :) I like the final stanza.  Maybe use "forever here" instead of "that&#... (more »)
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 12 at 4:02 pm :
Thank you for the advice! It was very useful :). I will definitely look at yours.
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 11 at 3:51 pm:
Great use of the word wonton. I find the poem to be thought-provoking, which is always what a poet aims for.
 
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