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Atlantis

Submerged under a thousand feet
of waves upon my chest.
I swim towards the surface and
forget all of the rest...
A timeless scene was held below,
a treasure cove of gold.
A kingdom sunk, forever lost,
where skeletons grow old.
It saddens me to think of it
Ball rooms and dancing feet.
Courtyards and hidden alley streets,
where lovers used to meet.



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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 7:13 pm:
This is wonderful! It's so short and simple and sweet and yet it means so much. This is amazing. I love how it sounds when I read it aloud. I really like this.
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 7:34 pm :
Thank you! It means a lot to get feedback :P
 
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Poetic_Person This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:49 pm:
Lost hope.... that's what came to my mind when i read this. Descriptive but to the point; short and sweet. It's like how Atlantis was trying to be found but in the end, faded underneath despite it's work. I like this poem. You're an outstanding writer.
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:51 pm :
Thank you, you're exactly right:)
 
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mrsmusicforlifeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 8:35 am:
Even though it's a fictional place, the way you incoperated it into your poem was great! I loved it!
 
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StarlitSunriseThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:41 pm:
  Yay for short poems! It shows a lot of finesse that you were able to convey such a vibrant image in so few lines. I really like the emotion you worked into this. I mean, it’s a fictional place, but you are totally right—it is sad! Little things like that can really make a piece.
 
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RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:22 pm:
Thank you for commenting on my poems! It means a lot:)
 
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SaphiraBrightscales said...
Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:11 pm:
This was so interesting plus the way you cherish th elong lost and describe in memoriam is amazing. 
 
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SakuyaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:36 pm:
For it being such a short poem it creates a great image in my mind! This is really interesting, I like it a lot.
 
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redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:46 pm:
Good rhythm and rhyme. I think "ballroom" is all one word, but that's the only thing I'd point out. :)
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:53 pm :
Didn't even notice, but yeah you're right. Thanks:)
 
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Loveveryday said...
Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:12 pm:
Simply aspiring piece!
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:46 pm :
Thanks! I don't know what aspiring means but it sounds like a compliment! :)
 
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OldYoungOne said...
Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:56 pm:
I enjoyed this poem because of the simplicity of the work. It wasn't so simple to where I was numbed by boredom and lack of uniqueness but I appreciated it because I could fill in my own vision and emotion of the under water city.
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:27 pm :
Thanks:) it was just meant to be a nostalgic poem, of sorts, that's why it's short
 
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Bubbs This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2013 at 3:03 am:
Amazing! Great rhythm to the poem too
 
RarelyJadedThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:33 am :
Thank ya:)
 
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