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The Master This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Once a garden in the valley,
Now upon a fiery hill
Holds the secrets of a woman,
A tragic, twisting tale.
Voices abide in every flower,
Tangled roses guard the frail
Body of their master,
Their dark-eyed master,
Beautiful pale-skinned master
With that cold, unseeing stare.

Moonlight only twists her hair,
And stardust hides her eyes.
And the unblinking figure
Is blinded by the light
That once held that master,
That dark-eyed master,
Beautiful pale-skinned master
With the cold unseeing stare.

Destiny had fated her,
A brutal, crimson end.
Full of hated, betrayal,
And the putrid sting of men.
Her very love had laughed,
As the dagger struck her breast.
And stopped her once-beating
Heart, a tattered, broken mess.
And that dark-eyed master,
That beautiful pale-skinned master
With the cold, unseeing stare,
Never once did love another man,
But welcomed death himself.

The flowers she once tended,
The roses she did hold
Wrapped around her body,
Forever would they stay.
Her hair wrapped in lilies,
With buds that erupted in gloom.
And the garden upon the hill,
The one with fire blazing in every stone.
Wept for its master,
For its dark-eyed master,
Its beautiful pale-skinned master
With that cold, unseeing stare.

Now once in a garden in a valley,
Sits upon a fiery hill.
And they say that if you wander there
On the darkest of the nights
Where the moonlight sits upon you,
And your voice is stolen by the wind,
A woman sits there humming,
Flowers woven into her hair.
And she'll turn to you and smile,
With that cold, unseeing stare.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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SportsStar23This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 6 at 8:59 pm:
This was great! I loved it! Your desciptions, pardon the pun, were dead on. I was hooked from the very first line. Also, I agree with the others in that the picture was absolutely perfect and well matched. I have no criticism for you, my friend. The flow between the lines and the stanzas was effortless and the rhymes did not seem forced at all. Congratulations on getting the poem into the magazine! It was definitely well deserved! Keep writing and I'll keep reading (:
 
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vegetariangirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 28, 2013 at 9:25 pm:
The poem goes along perfect with the picture. I can see why they put in the magazine.
 
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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 7, 2013 at 9:55 pm:
Hey there! I love the title and the picture, they go so well with the poem. I loved the darkness to the poem, the lack and white picture seems to really blend with the darkness of the poem. This poem was strikingly beautiful. It was wicked and sad. The descriptions were WONDERFUL, you described everything so well, I saw everything crystal clear. The emotion in this is amazing, you did a great job with that. I love the use of nature in here it really fits in this poem. I love the repetition and t... (more »)
 
LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 7, 2013 at 9:56 pm :
black and white* Sorry!
 
Stormy9890This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 8, 2013 at 8:53 am :
Thanks so much for the support!! The thought of making this into a story is actually one I haven't thought of before, but it sounds like it'd be fun! And thank you again for commenting and (hopefully) rating. I've been having a bit of a writers block, but I hope to get back on my feet and post another story soon!
 
LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 8, 2013 at 6:14 pm :
http://teenink.com/forums?act=post&topic_id=16&thread_id=75017 You can try this if you want for writer's block!
 
Stormy9890This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:24 pm :
Thanks! I'll have to check it!!! Hope it helps too!! :D
 
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thegoldenllama said...
Oct. 22, 2012 at 8:44 pm:
Well deserved to be on the mag! Congratulations! :) The rhymes are seemingly smooth and the plot is very unique and interesting! I think in the third stanza, third line, did you mean "full of hatred"? Instead of hated. Is that a typ-o or was it mean to be full of "hated" in which others hated her so much? Otherwise than that, perfect!
 
Stormy9890This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm :
Haha! I was waiting for someone to catch that!! I found the mistake a few days after I posted, but haven't found the time to fix it! You're right too; it was susposed to be hatred, but I didn't see it in my final read over.  
 
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BorderlineGenius777This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 2:04 pm:
This is just... beautiful. the topic, the word choice, it all comes together for something truly special. It was a pleasure, nay, a privelage to read this, and i thank you from the bottom of my heart for treating me to such a work of art.
 
Stormy9890This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 6:29 pm :
Really??? You really think of it that highly? I'm honored!!! For someone to think so highly of my work... I feel so happy for this comment! Thank you so much!!
 
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MoraleAsh said...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:48 am:
Woah this is incredible. It's so haunting and chanting and beautiful all at once. I love it. My only suggestion is to look over the one line "the one with fire blazing in every stone" because it doesn't flow. It's like being in water and just swimming and then BAM you hit a rock. But then the rock moves and you keep on swimming. But other than that, FANTABULOUS job!
 
Stormy9890This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 1:32 pm :
Thank you so much for the constructive criticism, it always helps! I'm glad you liked it too! I hope you enjoyed this as much as you say!
 
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LaceeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 10, 2012 at 12:18 am:
Wow. this is amazing. You use such wonderful description. I felt like I was standing there watching everything happen. Fantastic Job!!
 
Stormy9890This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 10, 2012 at 3:32 pm :
Thx! It took me alot of editing, so I'm glad you enjoyed!
 
candlelightwriterThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 8, 2013 at 10:53 pm :
Why can't I give this 6 stars? Like why not? this definitely deserves it!
 
Stormy9890This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:25 pm :
Seriously? I'm glad you like it that much!!!! All your comments have helped alot! :D
 
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