Confessions of an Artist

January 17, 2011
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I have a confession to make.
not a secret to tell,
The world already knows it,
They knew it the moment I fell.

Every time i fall they see,
the confession I need to make,
And yet I keep my secrecy,
And courage i continue to fake.

For a poet I am a disgrace,
For the lies I've told my head,
if my lies were daggars,
By now I would be dead.

An artist I have called myself,
And yet i let this live,
A simple imperfection,
A gift I cannot give.

The tears dont fall for my failure,
I see the flaw, and run, rather than stay
The panic grabs my heart,
And I begin to back away.

but I am trying to be better,
now that I know its true,
I know more than ever,
that i want to trust you.

I make this shameful confession,
With no help, no gentle shove...
I mournfully admit to you,
I am afraid to love.

I could regail you with a story,
Of my shattered hearts sad tale,
But explaining my own downfall,
Would cause me to go pale.

there is no justification,
For denying, yet dreaming of...
This terror that keeps my heart aloft...
I am afraid of love...

Love has lead to sadness,
And fear along its way,
but I do want someone,
To promise they will stay.

I want to give my heart out,
Someday it won't be my own...
I have to conquer this ancient fear...
Or I'll leave this life, all alone.

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