Army Man

February 15, 2010
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brush your fingers on my cheek
kiss my lips 'till i feel weak
pull me to you, hold me tight
make love to me through out the night.
in the morning, bring me bread
kiss my mouth, and crawl in bed
spread rose petals on the floor
and that's where we'll make love some more.
touch my hair, my slumber deep
kiss my nose to wake my sleep
let me stretch into your side
hear the birds that sing outside.

in the doorway, wipe my tears
embrace my figure, hold my fears
touch your heart, and touch mine too
whisper love, i'll swear it too.
take your back pack from the ground
you kiss my lips, then turn around.
i do not beg, you will not stay.
i bite my lip; you walk away.

i hate these months i am alone.
i breathe myself; sleep on my own
i do not sing while your away
i tend to cry through out the day.
when you are here it's never bland,
but now i twist my wedding band.

in your letters you are fine
as if your home, not on the line
you say its hot, as bright as sand
you want me there to hold my hand
to kiss my lips, and tug my hair
i'd give all up, to just be there.
i read the words you do not say.
you write that you had killed today.
i see the tears stained on the page
ashamed that you are filled with rage.
i weep for you, here on our bed,
for all the words you kept unsaid.
you sign each letter with a heart
and say you hate to be apart.
come back to me id always scream
i hold your letters as i dream.

and with each morning i do pray
"Lord, can you bring him back okay?"
"when he is gone, i can not laugh"
"I feel like i am cut in half."

the plane flies in the april day
i hug my arms, ignore the gray.
a blur of white, the whirl of sound,
and now the plane touches the ground.
this moment stays, how it is slow.
i look for your face, the one i know.
i smile as i see your face
your graying eyes. you stand in place.
you look so different, he's so grim
yet all i really saw was him.
i rush myself into your space
no more sorrow not a trace.
my lips on on your every spot
laughing, laughing, tears are caught.
no words are said, nothing to say.
because your here, not far away.
you hold me close each step we take.
you are my love, thats what we make.

the morning light crept in so soon
as i woke to sounds of noon.
my husbands tousled hair lay still
so vibrant in the morning chill.
i poke your cheek you are my toy,
something that i can enjoy.
but you woke and swung around
and pinned my shoulders to the ground.
i laughed until i say your frown.
i tried so hard to calm you down.
but your sobs rattled the bed
i held your body kissed your head.
you whispered nightmares, all your dreams.
from violent sobs, to awful screams.
you said your sorry constantly
and finally you looked at me.
with eyes of red you stroked my tears
for i had cried for both our fears
you glided down so out of view
whispered words, yet said so few/
i slid straight down, into your side,
i wiped the tears that you had cried.
you said you shouldn't be around
since you had pushed me to the ground
and you could hurt me so much more
then pushing me down on the floor.
i said "I do not know the war.
i can not live what you endure.
but i live pain when you're away
you will not leave, you have to stay.
for im your wife, you, my groom
and you will sleep here in our room."
i stroked your face and held you tight.
you ddi not sleep alone that night.

for eight full years we loved in bliss
we had it all, nothing to miss.
our concrete love created joy
as we held our baby boy.
with dark gray eyes, and tousled hair
his is our love, we named him blair
our dream was good we had it all.
but then one day we got a call.
and through the room we heard the break.
the hated words, all thats at stake.
and once we thought we;d get along
we realized now that we were wrong.

stepping walking to my door
your heels echo on the floor
stern and cold, your face is blank
you know your place, you have your rank.
and here it is, my open door.
you watch as i fall to the floor.
awkwardly, you pat my head,
as if that helps, my husbands dead.
you hand my flags of red and blue
but they are nothing to me, true.
i tear it up, they it sits in piles
but Blair comes up, and when he smiles
my body shakes, i moan and cry
he is our son, so gray his eye
just like his dads, my sons face
he asks if dad's in a good place.
i rub his cheeks and kiss his nose
i say "Heaven is where daddy goes.
we'll meet in heaven, thats the plan.
we'll see him there, our army man."





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

nellie94525 said...
Feb. 19, 2010 at 5:25 pm
absolutely amazing.
 
Smickles This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 15, 2010 at 10:40 pm
thank you! :D
 
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