Heartwreck MAG

April 4, 2009
By jennnnnnn BRONZE, Irvine, California
jennnnnnn BRONZE, Irvine, California
4 articles 6 photos 69 comments

Last night
I broke his heart.
Sobbing
And clutching my ankle,
He fell to the floor,
But I pushed him off.
He just kept crying
More and more.

Last night
I broke his heart.
He tried to defend himself,
To understand me,
To get me to understand,
But I shook him off,
Left him there and
Let go of his hand.

Last night
I broke his heart.
I walked onto the grass,
The night-enveloped field.
I looked into his face
Then got up and walked away
Saying “Am I not pretty
Enough to chase?”

Last night
I broke his heart.
I pushed him away,
Hoped he would follow,
That he'd want me again,
But he just turned
And said to me,
“I guess I'm leaving then.”

I broke his heart,
Shattered to pieces,
I can't fix this mess,
Tear-struck eyes,
His face in his hands,
This is not my best.



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This article has 9 comments.


on Nov. 16 2011 at 1:16 pm
TakingFlightxx GOLD, Bristow, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Believe you can and you're halfway there"

The emotion in this poem really stand out with the way you repeat "Last night I broke his heart"

 

Great job! :)


Duckie430 said...
on Oct. 5 2009 at 12:23 pm
Duckie430, Riverside, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The secret to life is being who you are and being happy with who you are.”
"Whatever does not kill you only makes you stronger."

the format of this poem makes a huge impact. your emotions really come across. this is reallly good.

on May. 6 2009 at 9:56 am
darkdestro27 PLATINUM, West Jefferson, Ohio
21 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
hey whats up how are you ........... squirrel

hey good piece of work your a good writer i like how you have the narrator share her feelings about the events that just happened

on May. 6 2009 at 2:14 am
Author_ConstantineSeries GOLD, Richmond, Texas
12 articles 5 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Reading without thinking is nothing, for a book is less important for what it says than for what it makes you think.”

I really liked the way you repeated 'last night i broke his heart. It really emphasizes the point. It's incredible that i can relate the narrator, without ever having gone through anything as traumatic as that...it is the mark of an incredible author keep it up. Five stars :)

on May. 6 2009 at 12:28 am
xXxFallingTearsxXx GOLD, Cottonwood, Idaho
12 articles 0 photos 148 comments
Great poem!!! I agree with KICK3593, it does seem as though what she did is backfiring on her. great job on this poem i really like it.

on Apr. 30 2009 at 2:39 am
KICK3593 PLATINUM, Roslyn Heights, New York
49 articles 0 photos 74 comments
This is interesting. To me, it seems the narrator is slowly becoming the people that she is afflicting.

on Apr. 28 2009 at 11:37 pm
Zachary12220 GOLD, Hamburg, New York
13 articles 0 photos 8 comments
i love it so much jennnnnnn(nnn) your great!



btw... i commented back. (:

Abbyy GOLD said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 11:45 am
Abbyy GOLD, Shanghai, Other
12 articles 1 photo 22 comments
Whoa... I really liked the format of this poem. And-- your feelings really came through!

on Apr. 28 2009 at 9:59 am
GreenWriter826 PLATINUM, McAllen, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
''Their fruits like honey to the throat
But poison in the blood'' - Christina Georgina Rossetti "Goblin Market"

I haven't actually had a boyfriend since the fourth grade...alot of CUTE GUY FRIENDS... but not a real relatoinship...but when we write (which i have no idea about your experiences) we give people the feeling that we have...i guess thats what makes us good writers...that we have the ability to draw on an emotion felt or unfelt and make everyone else feel it too...when i read this poem i felt heart break and an ironic feeling that mabye if he came after me that things wouldn't have been so bad...that mabye if i was better he would have loved me enough to come after me...but that is just a smidgen of what i felt...Bravo!!!


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