Recipe for a Failing Grade

January 18, 2018
By Hhopp SILVER, Hartland, Wisconsin
Hhopp SILVER, Hartland, Wisconsin
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Ingredients:
A garden of procrastination.
1 Carton of desk naps.
Several droplets of tanked tests and quizzes.
3 sprays of being tardy.
An ocean of not giving a care.
A few whispers of a screaming mother.
A knapsack of forgotten notes.
3 Portions of talking with the teacher after class.
4 Portions of false promises to that same teacher.
Just one vase full of missing homework.
Directions:
Set glass cookware on counter and spray 3 tardies on the inside.
Lay the base with a garden of procrastination.
Lightly mix in 1 carton of desk naps and stir until the cookbook says “B.”
Spread out several droplets of tanked tests and quizzes while you mix in an ocean of not caring.
After pouring in a few whispers of a screaming mother check for consistency, Look for the “C” in the cookbook.
In a separate bowl, mix the knapsack of forgotten notes and the vase full of missing homework and mix into other container until the “D-” shows up and you know your recipe is working.
With all of those ingredients mixed in, sprinkle 3 portions of talking with the teacher and 4 portions of false promises to that same teacher your recipe is complete as the “D-” hardens into a “F.”
 


The author's comments:

I wrote this piece to show what not to do if you would like to pass any class in school. 


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