Believe

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Where are you?
Out on the far side of the black sun
Hiding your face in the clouds
I see you
You radiate like Christmas
Shining beyond the summer’s wake
And even in the dimmest light
I feel your grasp
Holding me to sanity
Make me believe again
Help me Believe

There are few truths in life
Every day I rise
The dark sun casting a shadow
over my modest throne of dirt
Every night I sleep
and the clouds cover the oasis within
And every moment
I see your face within my thoughts
Pulling me towards you
Dragging me up
From the soot
To the heavens
Where you dwell
Higher than any-of us
Make me believe
Help me believe

I see your reflection as I pass
A broken smile
Cuddled by frowns
And I think,
What if she lets go?
What if she lets me fall?
Through the heavens
Diving into the clouds
making snow angels in the atmosphere
To fall like an angel
Or a demon
To rest upon the ground
Kicking dirt up with me



You continue to pull me
As if I was a wounded soldier
Perhaps I am
A broken man
The rope still holds
And I dwindle
Hanging on
The ground is far below
Mountains are hidden
By blankets of darkness
I have now risen above

Now I am with her
I hold her in my arms
Her eyes are obscured
By purity
We Embrace
On a Wisp
On a cloud
High above my kingdom of dirt below
Make me Believe
Help me Believe

Your hand pulls away from me
And a tear-drop bleeds down your face
It’s too late
There’s no time to change
You begin to climb
A ladder made of gold
Tall and un-breaking
Gleaming and yet fore-boding
But she, you have courage
More than most of the mountains obscured beyond

I am now solitary
She has left me to my Eden
Far beyond the highest of towers
Mountains
And demons
I am greater than all others
And yet I feel hollow
As a spoiled child
I can’t
I won’t
Tolerate

You are my hero
my savior
my friend
You made me believe
Now I must Believe
In my sadness
That I can find you
Among the clouds
Of silver

I begin my ascent
Up layers of gold prime
to a greater place
Than where my foot stands
Up
Up
UP
I fly
I am higher than all others but her
I look beyond myself
She is resolute
Like Big Ben striking twelve
I climb higher
And higher still
Until I am higher than god himself
But she
still lurking higher and higher still
But I believe
I Believe

I follow
Trailing
Your beauty
Purer than snow
Than the clouds I climb
at the top of the ladder I see you
Peering down at me with your dark eyes
Tantalizing me
Reaching for you
You look back and smirk
And capsize me
I thought I Believed
I thought you taught me to believe

Now I am falling back-wards
Have I climbed too high?
What have I done?
I am falling
Dropping
Plummeting
Diving
And the wind
Leaks my ears
The whistle of a train steams by
And I flip back over
Enjoying my plummet
My cheeks pulled back
Teeth clenched tight like
My Fists
Bleed
Bleed
Into dark solemnity
Save me from damnation
I still Believe
I still Believe

I lay on my throne
Dirt rolled along-side me
My eyes white
And disappearing quickly
Lying in my kingdom of sand
My desert
My deserted
Soul
Hugs for life
And then leaves
Leaving my rotting corpse
To bake
Under the Black Sun

Perhaps I Believed in vain





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