Father, Who are you?

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Once I was 9 years old
And the wind blew
Memories were made, but now I feel like
I don’t even know you

2015 was the last memory
The park
The tire swing
But I felt safe with you
Now I don't even know you
Time flies by so fast

I remember the last day
It was so vivid
You came
Picked me up
Still on the drug
Pretending like you're all right
You thought... I didn’t notice
But I did
And it hurt

That night still haunts me
Bang!
Yelling!
You came back in
Told me it was time to leave
I looked at you
Thought what if I end up like you
No! I yelled I can’t
I can’t do that, I can’t hurt myself more

Dad why?
You lost me
And I don’t think I can forgive you 
It has been two years...
I haven’t seen you

Last year, the phone shakes in my hand
On my birthday
Calling you, because I felt like I had to
Not knowing that on the other side you were sticking a needle in your arm
When I called you I said, “ that’s it you lost me for good, don’t call me your daughter, because I can’t call you my dad.”
Father, Dad, Steven...
Who are you?






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