Raft in the ocean | Teen Ink

Raft in the ocean

May 9, 2017
By ElleD BRONZE, Edina, Minnesota
ElleD BRONZE, Edina, Minnesota
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I feel like a raft in the ocean
Just lost in the sea of endless emotion
The raft is my life crappy yet strong
Trying to stay afloat but can’t hold on
It’s a battle every day
Trying to convince everyone that I’m ok
Covering myself with a mask
So people don’t know, so they won't ask
Screaming as loud as I can, but not being heard
Trying to make everyone less concerned
It’s ok I say I’m doing fine
That’s what I tell everyone even though I’m dying inside
It’s a constant struggle to try and look happy
Even though my life is really crappy
I try to tell my friends but they can’t relate
I have accepted this is my life, this is my fate
What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
They say “its ok life is tough”
I’m sick of hearing that I don’t want to hear it
Every time I hear that it’s literal s***
Don’t say you know what I’m going through and that your sad
I know this isn’t what you want to hear my bad
A crappy diagnosis one after another
Sometimes I think why even bother
God has a plan they all seem to say
If there is one he takes of in May
Why believe in something that doesn’t work
Yet when Sunday comes around we put on our best shirt
I’m trying to recover from all of this crap
They get better but guess what? It’s a trap
Back through another round of treatment
Going to the doctors once a month is an achievement
But there I am just a raft in the ocean
Just lost in the sea of blurry emotion
I wonder if I pop my raft and let it sink
What then would everyone think


The author's comments:

This is how I was thinking when my mom was diagnosed and my cousin was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor all within a month.


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