Somewhere Between Kid and Adult

September 22, 2016

The whole idea of it makes me feel

Like I’m losing my innocent seal.
No longer am I a young child
But a teen who is doomed to be wild.
For deep down inside I can feel it
In the bottom of a deep endless pit
Where princesses and fairy’s once reigned
Control by a new beast was obtained.
And though it’s a chaos of fear and glee
It’s simply the switch of a 2 and a 3.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back
And the memories should remain on a faraway rack.
But what do you truly know about me
Except from the delusional shell you see.
For what if the change took away a large portion
And life as I knew it became a distortion.
But maybe I liked it the way it was before
When all worries and cares were thrown out the door.
Gone are the days of frilly dresses and girls that can fly.
Gone are the days of children menus and top secret spies.
My life was one of adventure and fantasy
I lost it that day during a light hearted tragedy.

But now I am mostly lost in my own thought
Contemplating life and other things that I ought
To have thought about earlier but I had not.
For lost in my thought I can create another place
One in which growing up is not the case.
For when I’m jerked back to this reality
I begin to miss the old carefree.
And then my eyes will begin to warm
As my lids hold back an unruly thunderstorm
One which will not just simply pass
But one that will last and last and last.

This is the beginning of a new era for me
A challenge from which I cannot simply free.
For it has placed its glowing mark on my skin
And so now it is time for it to begin.
That awkward phase between child and adult
Where the main focus is just the result.
When everything suddenly becomes quite clear
And you discover why you’re really here…
Who you are.
Who you’ll be.

It seems only yesterday I was a blank slate
With no real purpose to create such a weight.
But I am stronger and wiser now
And through the field of life I will plough.
For it is not muscle nor brawn that makes me strong
But the learnings I acquire as I go along.
And though I may not be there yet
I will be there someday there’s no need to fret.
Even if fate tries to catch me in its claws
I will forge my own escape because…
I can.

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HereSheIsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 11 at 7:23 pm
Really liked your poem and how you showed your journey from doubt and nostalgia to resolve. And trust me, 13 is okay. And you don't have to grow up just like that. I'm still not quite done :)
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