A Lonely Rain

February 28, 2009
By EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments

In the steady stillness of rain,
I sit and stare,
solitary, yet for the sudden
Sound of splashing
beneath my window.

Silently I watch,
steadily I wait.
alone I sit
by the window.

As the clouds storm
fury and fear,
my tears slide in unison
with the sky's above
onto my window.

Sighing, I gaze out,
trembling, I muse.
alone I sit
by the window.



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This article has 30 comments.


EdytD SILVER said...
on Apr. 27 2010 at 4:33 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
thanks so much!  Yeah, it's almost a continual downpour of wait, of tears, and of...nothing.

on Apr. 27 2010 at 2:07 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
54 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
Get, Got, Gotten.

I like this peice or piece-whatever-but what I really like was the ending. it paints-in my head-the illustration that you were waiting in the beggining and you're still waiting in the end and nothings going to give.

Louis GOLD said...
on Jan. 6 2010 at 6:27 am
Louis GOLD, Paris, Other
17 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
Too much isn't enough.

Amazing! Bravo! Thanks for reviewing my poetry as well. I look forward to reading more!

Roisin GOLD said...
on Nov. 15 2009 at 2:38 pm
Roisin GOLD, Peabody, Massachusetts
10 articles 5 photos 28 comments
thia poem makes me smile. that;s really all i have to say -roisin (;

on Sep. 7 2009 at 6:58 pm
FreakyEyed DIAMOND, Juneau, Alaska
53 articles 29 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"This, too, will pass."

Wow. The first line really draws you in... well done!

EdytD SILVER said...
on Sep. 7 2009 at 8:26 am
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
I used repetition to emphasize the way the narrator is looking out at the world, staring at things, as she sits in a silent house, watching an unmoving world.

You're right that the first two verses are more about loneliness, and the second about sadness. I viewed it a bit as a causal relationship - her loneliness makes her sad, so to speak.

I'm not sure if anyone caught it, but I tried to use alliteration (w/ s's) to show splashing throughout the poem.

Thanks so much; it really means a lot!

on Sep. 6 2009 at 10:57 pm
BlindSamurai GOLD, Bridgewater, New Jersey
11 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.
-Malcolm X

Redundant is certain aspects when you describe your location by the window, but if done as an effect it works well.

The progression of this poem is absolutely beautiful and you almost seem to show more with less when it comes to the idea of falling rain.

The sadness seems sudden at the end maybe the lonelier tone could be better woven throughout the piece but I really loved this, great job!

on Sep. 6 2009 at 4:03 pm
Passion03 BRONZE, Brea, California
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself;
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.
The Fan said... Be cool
The Roof said... Aim High
The Window said... See the world
The Clock said... Every minute is precious
The Mirror said... Reflect before you act
The Calendar said... Be up-to-date
The Door said... Push hard for your goals
--Unknown

that's alright

EdytD SILVER said...
on Sep. 6 2009 at 3:59 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
Thanks so much!

And btw, sorry for commenting twice on ur poem - my computer glitched.

on Sep. 6 2009 at 3:55 pm
Passion03 BRONZE, Brea, California
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself;
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.
The Fan said... Be cool
The Roof said... Aim High
The Window said... See the world
The Clock said... Every minute is precious
The Mirror said... Reflect before you act
The Calendar said... Be up-to-date
The Door said... Push hard for your goals
--Unknown

this poem is great

love the use of imagery

the imagery gives it more feeling and makes it easier to relate to

my favorite line is

As the clouds storm/fury and fear

as in your entire poem the imagery is very strong here

nice work!

on Aug. 29 2009 at 3:03 pm
Inkspired PLATINUM, Whitby, Other
26 articles 0 photos 493 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If one will scoff at the study of language, how, save in terms of language, will one scoff?" - Mario Pei
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." Isaac Asimov

This is really good, really conveys the emotion and the loneliness. I love the line 'my tears slide in unison/ with the sky's above' too. Very graphic imagery! Love it! ;P

on Aug. 26 2009 at 2:26 am
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

this is really good. i loved it a lot. and thank you for the comments. :)

Wolfy DIAMOND said...
on May. 26 2009 at 6:40 pm
Wolfy DIAMOND, Huntsville, Alabama
71 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
A room without a book is like a body without a soul.

Oh yeah, and you need to write more stuff! I've been watching you for a montha and a 1/2, but nothng new has come up. I've written at least 1 thing a week for this, but these have been on here a while. Get writing dude!

Wolfy DIAMOND said...
on May. 26 2009 at 2:56 pm
Wolfy DIAMOND, Huntsville, Alabama
71 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
A room without a book is like a body without a soul.

EdytD, can you show me some of your tricks? You ar the only person other than me who has looked and commented on my work. I work hard but no one ever seems to like my stuff. Please help me!

on May. 22 2009 at 3:18 pm
Sarah Bryant SILVER, Prentiss, Mississippi
8 articles 0 photos 2 comments
awesome! I love how you captured the feeling of sadness and depression. I could really feel it. It makes me think of when I'm staring out my own window, and just thinking.

Great job! Can't wait to read some more!

EdytD SILVER said...
on May. 22 2009 at 1:50 pm
EdytD SILVER, Livingston, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 258 comments
thank you! I definitely will.

on May. 21 2009 at 2:30 pm
hope.floats BRONZE, Sunfield, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments
very good. keep writing!

Allegra SILVER said...
on May. 15 2009 at 2:25 am
Allegra SILVER, Seattle, Washington
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment
this is really good; i can see your pain. and thanks for your comments :)

DoLL_F@C3 said...
on May. 3 2009 at 3:19 am
DoLL_F@C3, Memphis, Tennessee
0 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"FORGIVING YESTERDAY, LIVING FOR TODAY, NOT WORRIED BOUT TOMORROW." Doll

this is really good and keep up the good work. I've posted a new poem.

on May. 3 2009 at 2:48 am
hey_itskatelyn PLATINUM, Willis, Texas
21 articles 0 photos 217 comments

Favorite Quote:
“God, of your goodness, give me yourself; you are enough for me, and anything less that I could ask for would not do you full honour. And if I ask anything that is less, I shall always lack something, but in you alone I have everything”

I love your poem! It is full of poetic devices, the sign of a true poet. I love using imagery so i love your poem. Keep it up. If u have any spare time, check out

TeenInk.com/raw/Poetry/article/100364/iLove/

and

TeenInk.com/raw/Poetry/article/88784/Heartbroken/


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