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The fear

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THE FEAR

You stand on the stage
prepare for months
it cluthes at your heart and pains your chest
you walk up and see the crowd
all the anixous feelings slowly seep away
you think its not soo bad

thats the fear
The love
the relief
The time
Thats what I feel towards my art

Its just you and friends
The stranger at the door had a look
One of expectation
one of hope
he asks may you speak
I reply by stutter
and see his face darken

The fear I feel now is nothing when there are more
Its not as alive
not as captivating
I realize my dreadfullness
I notice my worry growing

Its not the crowds that get to me
They merly make me shy
Its the one on one
The person standing before me right now
He can express oppion
he can bring down my faith
a room of two million is
nothing compared to this one incounter
my fear grows as I begin to recite my feelings
as I show this one man how to get into my head

The people filling the audatorium care less of how I feel
All they want is too see how good I am
They arnt ready for the impact and thats what
makes it soo much easier
They dont know me
They can barely see me
No feelings pass through them
But
This man this single man
he can see all of me
My feelings of lonliness
my lost hope they all hit him with a slapp
The expression I show must reveal how I think
I cant hide
Cant step in a darker area
I cant cower and run away
I must reveal everything

My time my hope my life
all being reaveled to this one strange man
All going into his head
He must listen and watch with caution
He must grasp all my fears and all my worries
He has too twist them around me and pull me into the pain
And I must be carefull for he is the one that shall be pulled in
His stear must quake in my presence
He must be captavated in my art and he must understand my pain

This one man scares me and causes me more worry than that of a thousand people
He distroys my hope my life with every breath he takes
from the moment he walks in to the moment he leaves
he alone has my heart and my head in his mind
he has the power
And I
I must be brave and suck in this fear
I must live it and use it
I will strike back during this one incounter
In a way that I could not on a stage
I must be wrapped in feelings that only come out in such times
I must let go
And live for this simple fear





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