I don't know how to react, just how to mimic. We are taught that in order to learn we must do this but are criticized when we are not different. I breathe in and out because the people surrounding me do so. I cry because I am called un-human if I do not. I smile because something is wrong with me if I don't. Why am I suddenly different in a wrong way because I don't think the way you do? We can not think for ourselves. We do not imagine without first seeing. We are brought up from birth through analysis and memorization of thought, motion, sound, and feeling. How can I truly react to something that I can never react correctly to? To the world, all is unoriginal, so why put injure and ruin upon my body and mind like the other slaves of general thought to be different if I can never be so. Why put heart into the already thought, the already felt? I am me, but I am all before me. I am an individual, but I am by mother, my father, my brother, my friends, my teachers, my elders, my future, your future. I am not me, but I am a mimic of you. I am not reality, but I am fiction. I dont know how to react, just how to mimic. It's all I will ever know. It's all anyone would ever know if they could only see it.
February 23, 2009