In first grade I jumped off the swings
Like everyone else
To realize
That when I landed instead of feeling the sense
Of glee and enthusiasm
That my friends did
As the ran from the spot
Triumphant
I felt pinned by the sharp razor thin pains shooting up my ankles
Grounded to the very spot
All my friends had dashed from
I realized then
Why my mother?s face
Wore a horrified expression
Because she knew I was different
And because she knew
I knew I wasn?t.

I only know what my mother has told me
Of the day that my life changed forever
Of the day my world would turn topsy-turvy
Im glad God decided to make little children forget their memories
Because I don?t believe I would want to remember that
The day crimson came pouring from my insides
Causing my doctors to scramble around
Thinking the worst but hoping the best
My mother afraid and scared that her child
Was molested or worst ripped of her innocence.
I just know that from that day on my world
Has never been easy for my mother to watch me walk out the door
Because one wrong move literally and a bone can snap
And I could be broken and in the hospital.
Until now it never hit me how this could effect my life
Until now I never let it.

Sunshine pouring in through the window
Causing me to shut my eyes in pain
Wishing pain would leave
Me to rest in peace
But of course the stark contrast of the light
Blinds me
Wishing that drugs could fix the problem
Knowing they never will
Causes me to become determined
In fighting for the sandman to come