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gilded.

i am a gilded soul, calm and collected to the easily fooled.
my smile painted on by broken faith.
i scream out for asweres, but my voice falls into a whisper.
thoughts hit me, rush over me like an icy wave.
this is my self-made hell, this place i go to find comfort, but leave with more regrets.
i cant force back the tears, each one like tiny stars, hitting ground with no hope of finding home.
the very foundation of my existence chipping away with every new mistake.
my hands are cold, my body colder, the warmth of life leaving me.
i want it back , i need it.
i feel like i've been trapped inside a mirror, locked in my reeflective prison, made to watch as the world moves on and im running in slow motion.
when i dream i am safe, these beautiful realities reachign out to me like the colors in a Monet painting.
cant i keep something beautiful?
cant i hold onto one thing that lasts?
please take my cold hands and breathe life back into my frozen life.





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