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Chaos Theory This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This work has won the Teen Ink contest in its category.

By
Carolyn says she believes in angels
while mascara spiders creep thickly along the
heavy baggage beneath her eyes like the
black pitch of the school hallways at night or
the charcoal that she dips her fingernails in and I
remember cheating on my math test that morning
So
I tell her I believe in people.

Roasted honey nut, the color she was born with but
you really wouldn’t know it because of the midnight L’Oréal
she chooses, tragically highlighted with Punk Pink or
Raging Red from a bottle and 15
minutes of waiting –
It spills limply over her black eyes whenever she leans down to write and
Carolyn says she believes in fate.

In planets aligning in the universe and
Feng shui that keeps mice away and prevents ulcers but also
makes a girl fall in love with a boy but
I know all about chemistry and hormones and catalysts so I
think I believe in science.

In reincarnation, she thinks she’ll come back as a bird
Or maybe a peacock and I say I agree when I
see those striped stockings that come to her knees and
neon earrings lifeless at her shoulders but she only laughs …
tells me I never really see her and to
call her later.

Now with the dial tone in my ear
the cold trembling and I’m suffocating on nothing
because I really see her and I
know she believes in the afterlife but
she doesn’t believe in laughter and
the phone just rings and rings and rings …

Carolyn said she believed in angels.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

This work has won the Teen Ink contest in its category. This piece won the January 2009 Teen Ink Poetry Contest.





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This article has 373 comments. Post your own!

cass said...
Dec. 23, 2009 at 8:01 am:
wow this was really cool and i loved how you made the characters so complex that was great
 
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ShakingChandeliers said...
Dec. 23, 2009 at 12:57 am:
You decribe things in such a great and beautiful way....like elegantly...it's magical. Hats off to you, Debbie.
 
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FadetoFluorescent This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 18, 2009 at 12:13 am:
I read this piece in the magazine last year, in the issue my teacher gave me.
Right now, that copy is clipped and framed above my bed, and I read it when I remember the girl down the street, who once was Carolyn.
Thank you so much for this; on a personal level, and as a fellow author and reader in the writing community.
Absolutely beautiful.
I've read it dozens of times, and I'm speechless each time I finish.
 
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Nechama said...
Dec. 8, 2009 at 7:48 pm:
WOW! Amazing. I remember writing dark things like this but in a way it isn't dark. Dark...it's not. It's amazing what people acheive by writing, what it makes them feel. I hope it wasn't too hard to write, emotionally I mean. Keep writing. In the end it will help with anything, I know. Espeacially when it comes down to how you feel. Again, keep writing.
 
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Hannahnanna said...
Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:38 pm:
Wow. This was just so real. It really hit me. Please never ever stop writing.
 
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LouieLou said...
Dec. 1, 2009 at 10:29 pm:
I'm so sorry for your loss. This piece is a true, tragic work of art. I'm sure Carolyn would be proud of you.
 
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SummerMornings This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 1, 2009 at 7:09 pm:
Wow-- this was the first poem I have ever read that really touched me-- thank you so much for sharing that, and I think the lack of punctuation added to the piece. it was incredible.
 
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mellow_melon said...
Nov. 25, 2009 at 2:43 pm:
ive probably read this at least 10 times. i cant stop reading it. its SO good! it gives me goosebumps evertime.
 
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k0k said...
Nov. 21, 2009 at 7:00 pm:
wow. this was amazing.
 
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alli.babi. said...
Nov. 14, 2009 at 9:30 pm:
very touching. im speechless, otherwise. great poem!
 
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SamSam said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:38 pm:
amazing, touching, beautiful... there are some things that are too beautiful to be put into words. this would be one of them.
 
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ChowD This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 9:26 pm:
..speechless..
touching ending
 
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Sh0wers;) said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 7:00 pm:
Thats amazing,, i have a friend like that
 
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RitaChristine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 6:06 pm:
Wow! I had to go back and read this a second time. There's a lot of meaning in there. Good for you for tackling a touchy subject like that; that's what poetry should be about. Excellent use of enjambment, simile, rhythm, personification, alliteration... so much packed in there. Way to go!
 
starsonmysleeves This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 22, 2009 at 10:51 pm :
and good for you for paying attention in english class. haha
 
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CaseyLeigh This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 5:51 pm:
My only thought upon finishing this piece was "wow".
 
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Sydneybriar said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 3:17 pm:
This was beautiful, the way you wrote it.
I teared up.
you have a future in this, or something near it.
 
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Emmalee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 11:34 am:
Wonderful. :)
 
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ariwrites94 said...
Nov. 9, 2009 at 7:51 am:
Wonderful job!!!! you are a talented writer and keep up the good work! if u have time please check out my poem called "Sensitive Am I" and rate and leave a comment. Thanks and keep writing!
 
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tennisislovee34 said...
Oct. 18, 2009 at 6:52 pm:
This is reallly good!:) I like it, it makes me teary eyed D: keep up the good workkK!
 
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