Chaos Theory | Teen Ink

Chaos Theory MAG

November 14, 2008
By Anonymous

Carolyn says she believes in angels
while mascara spiders creep thickly along the
heavy baggage beneath her eyes like the
black pitch of the school hallways at night or
the charcoal that she dips her fingernails in and I
remember cheating on my math test that morning
So
I tell her I believe in people.

Roasted honey nut, the color she was born with but
you really wouldn’t know it because of the midnight L’Oréal
she chooses, tragically highlighted with Punk Pink or
Raging Red from a bottle and 15
minutes of waiting –
It spills limply over her black eyes whenever she leans down to write and
Carolyn says she believes in fate.

In planets aligning in the universe and
Feng shui that keeps mice away and prevents ulcers but also
makes a girl fall in love with a boy but
I know all about chemistry and hormones and catalysts so I
think I believe in science.

In reincarnation, she thinks she’ll come back as a bird
Or maybe a peacock and I say I agree when I
see those striped stockings that come to her knees and
neon earrings lifeless at her shoulders but she only laughs …
tells me I never really see her and to
call her later.

Now with the dial tone in my ear
the cold trembling and I’m suffocating on nothing
because I really see her and I
know she believes in the afterlife but
she doesn’t believe in laughter and
the phone just rings and rings and rings …

Carolyn said she believed in angels.



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This article has 376 comments.


on Feb. 5 2010 at 5:17 pm
This is beautiful and I like the way it feels like a story and the way it's a memory. It's great how it all falls together in the end and in a way all falls apart. Great foreshadowing too and it's some what hopeful but in the most tragic way. This is very well put together.

on Feb. 5 2010 at 4:57 pm
hello.beautiful PLATINUM, New York, New York
35 articles 29 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. -Habakkuk 1:5

i love the repitition in the last line, don't change a thing(:

on Feb. 5 2010 at 1:38 pm
beautifuldownfall, Kkk, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments
The last line I think wasn't intended to be repetitive. It was a realization, as the girl holds the phone to her ear and realizes something that her friend said earlier...and so it is in the past tense.

on Feb. 5 2010 at 1:36 pm
beautifuldownfall, Kkk, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments
Wow! The last few lines sent chills down my spine.... Great writing!!!

on Feb. 5 2010 at 11:59 am
KiNABABE SILVER, Lakewood, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"WHATS MEANT T0 BE WiLL ALWAYS FiND iTS WAY"

BeautifulLlll

on Feb. 5 2010 at 11:30 am
Lucky.Deviant SILVER, Park City, Utah
6 articles 6 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We all know the people that walk the halls, we all know their in this fight to be the best in life with us, so why to we snare at them, glare, and pass them by without even a friendly smile that says; I'm here for you, we'll be alright." -Myself

simply beautiful

AMJaeh DIAMOND said...
on Feb. 3 2010 at 9:34 pm
AMJaeh DIAMOND, Gallatin, Tennessee
51 articles 80 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
you don't have to understand the language to know its Poetik written Muzyk~PoetikMuzyk
Not Everything is ours to keep, no matter how hard we had to fight for it~PoetikMuzyk
‎"The face of my enemy only frightens me when I see how much it resembles mine"
- Stanislaw J. Lec

a few neurons can make us all a morons dont you think?

WOW....This is wonderful

Rachelxx47 said...
on Jan. 31 2010 at 11:43 pm
I loved this poem. and the last line wasn't repetitive. it was in the past tense while the first line was in the present tense

on Jan. 29 2010 at 9:05 am
iNKsWorD SILVER, Ottawa, Other
9 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

Whoa. im not sure i really get the ending but.. whoa. power right there

on Jan. 19 2010 at 7:59 pm
SlightlySarcastic BRONZE, Livonia, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world... but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices." - John Green

I love this. I would walk around saying lines from it all day if it wouldn't sound weird in school. Keep up the good work!

on Jan. 15 2010 at 6:01 pm
DestinyMartinez PLATINUM, Boca Raton, Florida
23 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never know that you love someone untill they're gone."

Wow, this is really good. I love the detail in this. You’re a great writer. You should really check out some of my writing I think you will like it. Our writing is similar in a way. Please comment and rate too. Thank you.

Brea said...
on Jan. 14 2010 at 7:12 pm
Incredible piece! I truly enjoyed reading it.

on Jan. 14 2010 at 6:07 pm
acousticalex BRONZE, Garland, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist. That is all." Oscar Wilde

It's all just personal preference I guess, like most things. I've never been a fan of the "have a formula for the last lines of the stanzas" or "repeat something from the beginning at the end" techniques but as I said the overall poem is powerful. Seems to categorize itself unfairly in the formulaic with the repetition.

zobean GOLD said...
on Jan. 14 2010 at 5:25 pm
zobean GOLD, Northfield, Massachusetts
16 articles 1 photo 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A Good player inspires themselves. A GREAT player inspires others."

I have to disagree, the repetitive last line deffinitley contributes to the poem in an excellent way.

on Jan. 14 2010 at 12:56 pm
PurpleMelody GOLD, Tulsa, Oklahoma
17 articles 0 photos 20 comments
This poem is awesome, and very inspiring. It makes me want to keep writing so i can be as good as you. And congrats on getting it published :D

Duckie430 said...
on Jan. 14 2010 at 12:17 pm
Duckie430, Riverside, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 228 comments

Favorite Quote:
“The secret to life is being who you are and being happy with who you are.”
"Whatever does not kill you only makes you stronger."

this is one of the most creative & original poems that i have read in a long time. congratulations on getting published, you really deserve it. this poem is absolutely amazing, very interesting & thought-provoking

on Jan. 14 2010 at 10:41 am
poeticstarlet94 PLATINUM, Irving, Texas
30 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To thine own self be true."

This poem was ahhhmazing.♥ Wonderfully written and I wonder at the end if "Carolyn said she believed in angels..." means she dies?? ;]

Superb!

sdkkashg7 said...
on Jan. 14 2010 at 10:08 am
Thats some real deep thinking

yung said...
on Jan. 14 2010 at 7:48 am
the story is very interesting, i really liked it.

on Jan. 10 2010 at 5:13 pm
Audrea15 PLATINUM, Murphysboro, Illinois
25 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody wants happiness. Nobody wants pain. But you cant have a rainbow. Without a little rain.

this is sad but its a really good poem