My Addiction

November 13, 2008
By Claire Burkholder, Colorado Springs, CO

I see it again
Red lines blur my vision
The anger and pain inside
That you don’t seem to get

I’m not depressed
But there’s something there that’s holding tight
That won’t let me go
That won’t let me breath

I can feel it again
This urge to hurt
To see the red that fills me
This bleeding heart of mine

Maybe if you paid attention more
Maybe if you noticed I am truly hurting
I could stop
End this need for pain

Other’s say I’m a poser
I have no real reason to cut
I do, oh god, I do
They’re just not what you expect

Isn’t there help for someone like me?
Isn’t there love?
Your love, your help
To get me through to the light again?

I’m begging you to aid me
In ending everything
I ever cried over
To start again with a real smile

I can feel it again
This urge to hurt
To see the red that fills me
This bleeding heart of mine


The author's comments:
Yes, I am a cutter, if you didn't get that. But I'm trying hard as possible to stop. I've gotten psychiatric to help me deal, so don't worry about that.
This was written orginally as a song, but I shortened it to a poem. I wrote it to explain to my parents what was going on.

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