I’m looking up from under the water and I can see the sun shining on the surface but not on the inside. I feel so weightless in the water, so calm and relaxed. I hold my breath for as long as I can as I feel the strain on my lungs just like the strain on my heart. I think about life and all the things that have been with me all my life. I think of the situation, I think of the mistakes, the regrets and the broken promises followed by hearts. I begin to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders again as arise out of the water, I begin to feel my heart beat a little faster and I decide I don’t want to leave the water. When I’m in the water it’s like my own perfect fantasy of everything beautiful and easy, where I can clear my thoughts although my mind will never be empty. It’s a good place to be, to escape from everything that surrounds me for a little while.
October 28, 2013