Immortalized Beauty

September 22, 2013
By LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin


She stands alone, but also among all.
Her figure is sleek, graceful, and tall.
She’s immortalized in stone to catch her beauty,
But continues her enchantment as it is her duty.

She is always smiling as she is set in stone.
Her manner is a light and silly tone.
Her arms lean back; she is ready to dance;
Wherever you place her is her expanse.

However, she knows when you try to see her;
And she laughs prettily at your movements so queer.
She is well- aware of how much you try,
But she never reveals herself to the human eye.

I think she believes we are not ready for her presence.
A figure which releases a matchless essence
We are not worthy to experience this creature;
So she has taken stone as her feature.

She dances quietly when you’re not around;
Light feet on stone make not a sound.
Then she’ll leap off her perch and continue her ways,
Fluttering, leaping, and spinning with sashays.

At the end, she’ll return to her previous position;
Since her performance has come to fruition.
And there you’ll be, taking a glance,
But she will never let you get the chance.


The author's comments:
I based this off a small dialogue I wrote for a friend once.

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This article has 18 comments.


on Oct. 25 2013 at 6:09 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank You!

on Oct. 25 2013 at 5:35 pm
SpeakerOfTheDead PLATINUM, Lemont, Illinois
27 articles 31 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
― Henry David Thoreau

I read through this a few times. It has a steady flow While personally I can not connect it is good. The description of dance and movement is well done. Normally it is hard to do. So overall good job!

on Oct. 21 2013 at 6:45 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank you and yes, she is a ballerina! I intend to edit this at some point soon too. Thanks for the feedback!

on Oct. 21 2013 at 1:15 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

Hey! I am so sorry that I haven't responded to this sooner; I have three college classes and several clubs that I am currently doing, so I had to put Teenink to the side for the last couple of months (being a junior is stressful). Not only is the figure (I'm picturing this stone masterpiece as a ballerina) graceful, but the poem is as well. I think there are certain portions of this piece that lack fluidity/rhythm, but overall this is an excellent draft; it needs very little reworking to achieve a red check mark by the title. :) Great job! 5/5

on Oct. 21 2013 at 12:11 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank You!

on Oct. 21 2013 at 12:10 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thanks. I'm going to be honest.. I came up with this on the fly and I just thought I should just send it in. Otherwise, it would sit on my computer and just stay there... I'll have to review it for those awkward lines, but thanks for the feedback! 

Netnel GOLD said...
on Oct. 21 2013 at 7:02 am
Netnel GOLD, Fair Lawn, New Jersey
17 articles 1 photo 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.

I love this poem. I especially love the contrast in it.

on Oct. 21 2013 at 1:01 am
SpidersAcrossStars PLATINUM, Hayward, California
38 articles 0 photos 160 comments

Favorite Quote:
For you, a thousand times over.

4/5 This is really beautiful piece, I cant personally connect to it but you did a great job conveying the overall feeling of this poem. I give 4/5 because I felt some of the rhymes were kind of...awkward (you know what I mean) and outta place. Other than that I loved it...

on Oct. 12 2013 at 6:44 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank You!

holly1999 GOLD said...
on Oct. 12 2013 at 5:40 pm
holly1999 GOLD, Middlesbrough, Other
12 articles 8 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
'There was no need to clarify my finger snap, the implication was clear in the snap itself' - Magnus Bane

Beautiful poem! The description of the dancer and her attitude is great. It flows perfectly and the rhymes work well. It's really good!

on Oct. 12 2013 at 5:28 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank You!

on Oct. 12 2013 at 5:28 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank you and you're welcome!

on Oct. 12 2013 at 12:25 am
jazzwarrior GOLD, Springfield, Missouri
19 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them. -A.A. Milne

Very beautiful poem! Such a beautiful thing, dance. And to combine dance and poetry is so exulted. Thank you for writing this poem.

on Oct. 11 2013 at 9:55 pm
Nannette_25 GOLD, McDonough, Georgia
16 articles 1 photo 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I wanted to lie down with those words and rise up speaking a new language"

First, your imagery is fabulous. Love the image I get of the dancer. Second, I adore how you describe her attitude. It's a short poem yet I learned so much about her, yet I still want to know more. Why is she hiding her talent? It's the perfect amount of give and take. Love it!

on Oct. 2 2013 at 6:57 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank You!

awesomeyyy said...
on Oct. 1 2013 at 8:39 pm
awesomeyyy, Pequannock, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments
Very interesting concept!  The rhymes work very well, and the description of the dancer and her thoughts are great!

on Sep. 28 2013 at 9:40 am
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

Thank you and yes, she is a dancer! Thanks for reading!

on Sep. 28 2013 at 8:46 am
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

This is really good! It flows perfectly, smooth and effortless, and the idea is very whimsical. It's interesting to think that statues live their own lives while we aren't watching, and don't think us worthy of seeing them; and the way you described her through poetry also, in my mind, made perfect sense, seeing as that she was - I think - a dancer (?) It is a very good poem!!!




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