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Awareness This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Why that fighting and war,
Why that killing, what for?
In greater cause,
Because of greater deed,
Or just feeding your ego,
Fulfilling your need?
Do you ever think of just one,
Only one sad face,
Empty street, empty heart,
You leave behind?
Are you aware of the trace,
All the emptiness,
Sad people, lost days,
Nothing more, nothing less?
No empathy,
Or valid values,
Feeling for the others,
Just doing things regardless;
Would awareness;
If you even noticed,
Would it make a difference?
Would less pretending,
Bring a happy ending?
Would you even bother,
Would you even change,
Try to help one another,
Before valid values have gone estranged?

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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sameenmaali said...
today at 11:32 pm:
amazing job!
 
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StarGazer9This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sep. 15 at 12:13 pm:
Hey there! I have to say I loved it, you put these thoughts beautifully on paper. Oh, and congratz on making it in the magazine ;)
 
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Ariel_FluffyyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sep. 12 at 9:27 pm:
OMG!!!! This made me cry! it is so good!
 
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BestWritingByBritThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 6 at 1:15 pm:
I loved this so much!
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 11 at 4:01 am :
Thank you!    
 
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jolo said...
Jul. 3 at 8:51 am:
very good , i like this poem much   
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 11 at 4:01 am :
Thanks!      
 
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MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 1, 2013 at 4:38 pm:
Excellent use of rhetorical questions. The emotion that use begs the reader to understand...just for one second. This poem is appropriately titled. It brings awareness to the reader. Congrats on the Editors' choice. 5/5 stars from your truly. 
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:45 am :
Thank you really much on congrats, and positive review, I am glad to see a complimet coming from you ( since I've read many of your writings and really loved it). :D
 
Luv4EverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 2 at 4:59 pm :
I like the uneven meter you applied to this piece, it applies the emotion quite nicely. All around great job
 
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Literature_Darling said...
Sept. 29, 2013 at 9:07 pm:
I loved the rhyming! (rhymes in poetry are something I have never been well at so I always find it facinating when other people accomplish it so beautifully)
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:43 am :
Well thanks, it is not a problem you just need to unify it with  the thought and it will make a rythm flow :D
 
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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 17, 2013 at 5:41 pm:
The tempo and rhythm of the poem/song was very good and it kept it going all the way through, it was very fluent and not many can pull that off; it suited the fast pace desperation of the poem, as if it was begging the reader - it made it a lot more effective and powerful. There was a strong, almost emotional, bond between the reader and the poem, it allows the reader to connect. This is well written with good use of language and the rhetorical questions as it makes the reader think more. W... (more »)
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:42 am :
Thank you for your constructive comment, and I am glad there are so many components you liked! :D
 
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The Flying Dutchman said...
Sept. 17, 2013 at 2:40 pm:
Wow!!! Really beautiful poem! I like everything about it: the style, the message and the questions. Keep writing ;)
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:46 am :
Dutchman thank you a lot, your words heal so I believe your deeds and career also will;)
 
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mb777 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 16, 2013 at 8:49 pm:
I love your use of literary tecniques such as rhetorical questions! The poem just flowed so nicely!
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:41 am :
Thanks on positive thoughts of it!:)
 
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Milipasle said...
Sept. 16, 2013 at 3:27 pm:
An interesting poem, built to provoke one's thoughts of it's own world. Truly a touching tale of sadness and suffering.
 
elycavillThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 7, 2013 at 8:40 am :
Milip thank you for your deep thoughts of my peom.
 
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