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Only Nine Years Old

By
It seems like just yesterday, she was only nine years old
Didn't know the world
Just a little girl
She didn't understand
What happened to the man
She adored, she wanted more
Her mama said that he closed the door on life
To the girl that comment cut like a knife
That one decision changed her life forever
She didn't know if it was for the worse or the better

He put that gun to his head
After saying his good byes
Except to the girl
Who he knew would cry
Who he meant the world to
He put that gun to his head
That moment she would always dread
Her body was trembling
She couldn't even look him in the eye
She couldn't help asking why
He put that gun to head
And pulled the trigger

She watched his body hit the ground
She was screaming for help but no one was around
She saw his life fade away
Just as the night fades to day
She saw him take his last breath
She knew it was more then just death
She knew that he had nothing left
This battle he had lost
It was his life he just tossed
Out the door
He couldn't take the guilt any more

She was just of nine short years
She had to grow up so fast and now has all these fears
Like losing all those who she holds dear
Many years have past living without him
But she just can't forget him
Or that day
She wants to make that memory go away

Slowly she's learning how to love again
If he hasn't noticed she'll be better in time
She's just got to close that part of her mind
And quit living in the past
She has to make her present memories last
She's going to smile because she deserves to
Wouldn't you feel the same
She thought it was her to blame
She didn't know that others felt ashamed
She knows time will heal her pain
She knows it
Even now she still feels it
The memory still lasts
And once more it pulls her back
To the past

Few knew that was her life
Few knew that she held onto all that strife
Few knew, now many do
It's so much easier when more than two care
How much she has faired
It's not ok
She's not fine
It gets harder and harder each day
She's in pain
She's screaming out your name
She wants to let go
She wants to be free
She's letting you know

She had to grow up so fast
No time to make the memories last
She was just a girl of nine short years
She's still shedding all these tears
So the next time you see that little girl
Left alone to fend off the world
Know she's not ok
No matter what she continues to say
She's not fine
It replays over and over in her mind
Just a girl
Alone in the world
Just a little girl, only nine years old

He put that gun to his head
After saying his good byes
Except to the girl
Who he knew would cry
Who he meant the world to
He put that gun to his head
That moment she would always dread
Her body was trembling
She couldn't even look him in the eye
She couldn't help asking why
He put that gun to head
And pulled the trigger

He pulled the trigger
When she was only nine years old





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