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Night after night,
Every time I fall asleep,
I dream, waves of dreams upon endless dreams,
The sights I see are of people wandering by me,
Their eyes slightly peeking but their mouths seldom speaking,
They wander but only now do I begin to ponder,
What becomes of them when I wake?
Rowing gently on the silken lake,
Oars dip as does our ship but only rocking, never stopping,
Wood creaking should our ship be leaking we could go on weeping,
But our eyes are swollen from long lies
And many a stolen hearts beat by the marching of forgotten woes,
Our boat floats merrily down with the flow,
The tide is low, but a sound ever does slightly grow,
Our heads up go, from where comes this roar?
We crawl to the edge and see beyond: a ledge,
A God among ledges, a king among edges, from this rocky fall we are doomed to soar,
To the oars we sprawl, we grunt alone, trying to win but we won’t,
Survive the fall down the cliff, swiftly down the roaring waterfall,
This crash won’t be my last as the dawn is far still but nigh and the night is barely done,
For now I go back, sound asleep,
Into quiet darkness deep,
Back to that lake where it all began,
Doomed to fall over and over again



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This article has 29 comments. Post your own!

Shade3043This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 24, 2013 at 2:17 am:
Well, congrats. This poem will be one of the few poems I give a 5/5. Incredible. I see no flaws in the poem. Incredible imagery, great wording, er....decent rhythm. Definitely one of the best poems I have read on this site. Deserving of the 5/5. Keep it up. :D
 
chronosun replied...
today at 11:53 pm :
I am grateful for your comment. Thank you for reading and I am glad you enjoyed the poem.
 
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lackadaisicalwolf said...
Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:34 pm:
I love the image this paints :) very creative, keep writing!
 
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Brownie105This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:57 pm:
It's beautiful <3
 
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Lustful_TemptationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 22, 2013 at 1:55 pm:
This is a very interesting poem.  You're analogies are very strong and powerful, but the structure of your poem was rather confusing; i guess you had uneeded words, but that's an easy fix, but you did a great job.
 
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MMOONThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 10:49 pm:
WOW!! this is a very strong poem. i very much enjoyed it. keep writing!  
 
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LexusMarieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 7:17 pm:
Hey there! So, I always try to write poems about dreams but I seriously struggle with them, I just don't feel like I truly capture what I am trying to say. But, I think you did a great job! I like the length to it and the vivid descriptions. I enjoyed the ending as well.. good job!
 
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hannnah_turtle said...
Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:43 pm:
this is really really good! keep up the good work! c:
 
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Laugh-it-OutThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2013 at 6:51 pm:
This is great!!! Awesome job. Keep rockin and writing chrono :)
 
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NintendudeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 2, 2013 at 6:28 pm:
This is really nice. I enjoyed it very much.
 
chronosun replied...
Jul. 2, 2013 at 6:33 pm :
Thank you!
 
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necciThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 30, 2013 at 11:05 pm:
That was a very interesting poem, i eapecially liked that question as to where our dreams go when we are awake, and the detailed experiance after the question was very well written, i hope to read more of your work when they are published
 
chronosun replied...
Jul. 2, 2013 at 6:34 pm :
Thank you necci. More is on the way!
 
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Kait-The-LovelyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 30, 2013 at 8:12 pm:
I found this to be a strange, bewildering poem... If someone truly imagined, you could hear the rush of the river, the roar of the waterfall, the feeling that frightened you the most upon your skin... The only thing(s) I really have to comment on are: Was it deliberate, the way you switched the subject from people to the boat? I found it a bit confusing, but I was able to keep focus and find the topic. And, I think it's just your style, but I'm not used to seeing long poem likes with commas to k... (more »)
 
chronosun replied...
Jun. 30, 2013 at 9:25 pm :
To answer your question about switching in the middle, yes, it was deliberate. It is in the nature of dreams to switch sporadically. As for the lack of punctuation-punctuation ends a thought, completes it. I'm glad you caught that sneaky detail. Thank you for speaking your mind! I hope you enjoyed the poem. There are many more to come. 
 
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BlazeRayn said...
Jun. 30, 2013 at 7:27 pm:
Very beautiful, i could picture the scene perfectly. it flowed well and i love the content/topic. KEEP WRITING.
 
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Lespri said...
Jun. 30, 2013 at 6:45 pm:
This is a very beautiful poem
 
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newsoulpoet said...
Jun. 28, 2013 at 7:08 pm:
Anytime (: I loved it
 
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vartikasinghThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 28, 2013 at 5:14 pm:
Dreamy poem COOOOOOOLLLLL!!!!!!
 
chronosun replied...
Jun. 28, 2013 at 5:23 pm :
I am glad you liked it Vartika. 
 
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