September 7, 2008
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Every second, every minute, every hour of everyday. Time passes slowly, eternally we're stuck inside it's rhythmic rhyme. Fast, slow we unwillingly follow it's natural flow.

Time for me has stopped in it's tracks, forward I do not move. Frozen in time my world has been spun, and I'm stuck, lost, empty. This new world with an undefined time has killed me, left me broken, crushed, blind, deaf.

And so here I lay, no noise, no sight, against it I will not fight. Let it take me captive, I am but time's only prisoner. Waiting for the moment in time when I am freed to move forward.

Left for dead, I've been shot with an arrow, only I feel nothing but the pain that radiates from my empty chest, my eyes gray with a sorrow long but forgotten.

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lunaEccentric said...
Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm
I love this poem! I like how you have stanzas, but leave the rhythm of the words to the reader. They just flow and I love it! One question... the last two stanzas... to me, the order seems to go smoother with the last two stanzas switched, so the second stanza spills over into "Left for dead..." and then the third stanza closes the poem. i felt that the peom ended with the end of the third stanza and the fourth stanza reiterates the second. Just a suggestion, but I am in love with the rest!
Bianca replied...
Mar. 16, 2010 at 12:27 am
thanks for letting me know i love it when people give me constructive criticism, and now that i look at it i see what you mean... SO thanks =)
Natherine replied...
Mar. 16, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Awesomeee love itt baby lol
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